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Should We Just Watch Porn Together?
This conversation recently went down in the “community” section of an app I use. “I really wish my husband would stop watching porn. He keeps telling me he’s going to stop but our accounts are linked so I can see that he’s looking at porn at work.” “Girl, give it up and just ask to watch it with him! Watch it together!” And this is an email I got in response to a recent blog post: “I think a woman should tell her husband what type of porn she watches so they can watch it together. That’s what a strong woman would do.” So, clearly, we need to talk about…
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On Pedestals, Grief, and Finding Faith
The final report of the investigation into Ravi Zacharias was published, and it wasn’t good. In fact, it was scathing. For many, this week, a hero fell. I’ve been following this story since the accusations first came to light last fall. Ravi’s ministry had a great impact on my husband’s faith and a friend of mine was a speaker for RZIM. Sadly, we’ve seen this all before. Too many times, actually. In Ecclesiastes, it says, “What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.” {1:9 ESV} Instances like this, where people abuse power and…
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Should I Get Married if I’m Addicted to Porn?
If you read my last post on saving sex for marriage, you might have caught that this is a topic I’m becoming increasingly more passionate about. My husband and I enjoy a beautiful, strong, marriage and it’s something I honestly wish for everyone. I believe it’s what God wants for us, and so many marriages are really hurting. I had to take a break after finishing that last post because my heart was so heavy. This month, we’re launching into a series that will tackle just a few of the questions I get regarding pornography and marriage. For the sake of every post in this series, I’m going to be…
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Resource Review: Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Joy Welcher
My last post addressed the question, “Does God Really Want Me to Save Sex for Marriage?” In it, I mentioned this book Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Joy Welcher. I read this book through in January and, now that I’ve finished it, felt it was worth writing a quick review. I do this on occasion and hope to increase the frequency this year. On that note, I recently redid the resource page! Check it out for a more streamlined collection of books, videos, courses, and groups specifically for women who struggle with pornography. I’m also going to link up all of the book reviews I’ve done over the…
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Does God Really Want Me to Save Sex for Marriage?
Let’s close out this Does God series with a zinger. I actually don’t know if it’s a zinger, but it’s a question that is being asked and one that we really need to be ok trying to answer: Does God really want me to save sex for marriage? It’s a fair question. A common question. And for some reason, a hard question to tackle. I thought I had a decent post on it and then literally just deleted the whole thing and started over… three times now. I’ve actually lost sleep over this post, wanting to be sure it contributed to a culture of grace and goodness and not shame.…
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Does God Have a Problem with Fantasy?
Aside from pornography, it is the most popular topic of questions I get. Is it ok to fantasize? What if I fantasize and don’t masturbate? What if I’m fantasizing about my future husband? What if I’m fantasizing about my actual husband? What if we never “go all the way” in my fantasy? Is it wrong to imagine what sex is like? I feel like there’s an easy way to tackle this and a more complicated way. The easy way to address this is to just come right out and say, “fantasy is wrong.” If you’ve been exposed to church for any length of time, you have probably heard a sermon…
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Let’s Talk About Christian Romance Novels
Tis the season for snow-kissed romance. Now is the time when all the single ladies (and plenty of us married ladies) are snuggling up under a big fuzzy blanket in warm socks with a cup of hot chocolate watching romantic movie after romantic movie. Actually, it’s never been my thing, personally. The hot chocolate, fuzzy blanket and warm socks, absolutely! I’m not necessarily into the romance movies, but I know it is a thing for a lot of women. And that’s ok. Sort of. Let’s talk about it. “Can you please address what is wrong with Christian romance novels?” To be honest, I haven’t really addressed this much throughout the…
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(Why You Need to) Talk to Your Kids About Sex
I’ve said it for a while, “Whoever tells your kids about sex first is who they will listen to.” Of course, I know that’s very daunting, especially for Christian parents. For whatever reason, Christian parents in general have a really (and I mean really) hard time talking to their kids about sex. There’s this desire to hold out for as long as possible, with some parents not even talking with their kids at all… ever. A couple years ago, my old youth pastor contacted me and asked me for some advice. He was getting ready to talk with the youth group about sex and pornography, and had found out through…
