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Beggar's Daughter

Communicating the Truth of God's Grace to a Generation of Women Trapped in Sexual Sin

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  • Featured,  Resources

    Why There Aren’t More Resources for Christian Women Struggling with Pornography?

    When it comes to Christians struggling with pornography, the market is relatively flooded with resources for men. (Still, over 90% of churches have no support for men or women). This is how it was even decades ago when I, a Christian teenage girl, searched for help for my porn addiction. For years, I thought my consumption of pornography was healthy and even normal. I saw it as a safer alternative to sleeping around and a way for me to express and explore my sexuality while still honoring all of the tenants of purity culture. My church didn’t talk about pornography, other than vague mentions of “Men, what you are looking…

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    Three Things I Wish Parents Understood About Their Kids and Porn

    March 27, 2023

    What Does Freedom From Pornography Look Like?

    July 24, 2021

    Porn and Parenting: How to talk to Your Child about Porn

    August 21, 2021
  • Featured,  Women and Pornography

    Is There Hope After a Struggle with Pornography?

    What’s one thing you would say to a woman who is listening who struggles with pornography and wonders if there is hope? I have been asked that question countless times over the last few months as I’ve been on various podcasts and radio shows talking about my book, Quenched. So many presenters and hosts want to leave their listeners with a soundbite that offers a glimmer of hope. I’m always happy to provide it and to share that there was a point in my own story (several, actually) where I felt hopeless. At 17, I felt like I was too far gone to ever be rescued. I would never be…

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    “Boys Will Be Boys” is Killing our Men

    June 8, 2016

    Boundaries, Discernment, and Why You Might Reconsider Redeeming Love

    January 20, 2022

    What Does Freedom From Pornography Look Like?

    July 24, 2021
  • Pornography and Marriage

    Five Tips for Staying Connected in the Bedroom

    I was recently on the Java with Juli podcast and Dr. Slattery asked me what I would say to the woman who is struggling to stay mentally connected in bed with her husband. In this context, she was specifically talking about women who have struggled with pornography and how they can deal with those mental images, but the question impacts a broader audience. I think many women struggle to stay mentally present when it comes to physical intimacy. This isn’t a problem exclusive to women who have struggled with pornography. There is an increasing awareness of the term “mental load” and how in many couples the women carry the burden…

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    Should We Treat Porn Like Cheating?

    March 6, 2021

    How Do I Tell My Husband I Struggle With Porn?

    March 13, 2021

    Should We Just Watch Porn Together?

    February 27, 2021
  • Women and Pornography

    How Pornography Affected My Body Image (or, How Porn is Like Glitter)

    Over the years, many women have asked me how pornography affected my body image. For the longest time, I told them it didn’t. I was exposed to pornography at the age of 13, a freshman in high school. Can we all just agree that 13 is already awkward, clumsy, and painful no matter who you are or what you’ve been exposed to? My days were spent admiring the cheerleaders and wondering how they managed their perfect makeup and pin-straight hair. (True story: I didn’t even know hair straighteners existed until I graduated high school and then I had a friend come over and spend over an hour straightening my thick,…

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    You May Also Like

    Accountability is not confession

    December 4, 2013

    What Boundaries Should You Have While Dating?

    May 16, 2023

    Porn in Church: The Five Most Unhelpful Things Pastors Said About Pornography

    April 24, 2021
  • Resources,  Women and Pornography

    What Do I Need to Do to Stop Watching Porn?

    If you want to break free from a struggle with pornography, you may be wondering: What do I need to do to stop watching porn? What do I need to give up? Is there some sort of trick? Different “experts” may have different strategies. When I was first beginning my journey of freedom, the “course” I was using called for “radical amputation” of any sort of electronic device. No TV. No smartphone. This, the author believed, was the equivalent of “gouging out your right eye” which is what Jesus says in Matthew 5:29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it…

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    You May Also Like

    Resource Review: We Too by Mary DeMuth

    July 14, 2021

    The Flirtation Experiment and Why Intimacy Matters

    February 11, 2022

    Why There Aren’t More Resources for Christian Women Struggling with Pornography?

    June 2, 2023
  • Women and Pornography

    I’m a Christian Woman Who Struggled with Porn. This is the Hardest Part About Sharing My Story.

    In 2009, I started sharing my story about my struggle with porn addiction. I did so anonymously at first because I didn’t want to deal with people knowing this was my story. I felt like I was the only woman in that world who had this struggle. No one needed to hear my story. No one cared. In late 2010, I stood in a room at a conference in Canada. I was leading a breakout session for women on the topic of lust and the room was packed. Every chair was full, women stood around the room, and some even sat on the floor near where I was speaking. The…

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    You May Also Like

    Moving On With Life When Your Pictures are Still Out There

    June 19, 2013

    On Culture, Sex, Influence, and Why Personal Responsibility Matters

    April 10, 2021

    What Boundaries Should You Have While Dating?

    May 16, 2023
  • Women and Pornography

    What Do You Do When Confession Has Consequences?

    When it comes to breaking free from pornography and other sexual sins, I talk a lot about confession. In fact, if you email me (or have emailed me) asking what you should do to help start your freedom journey, my answer will always be “you need to tell someone.” There’s a reason for that, but there’s also a lot of fear around “confessing.” What if I confess and they get mad? What if I confess and they don’t care? What if I confess and I am punished? I think it’s unfortunate that we as Christians so often use confession similar to how it is used in a crime documentary. We…

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    You May Also Like

    Take “Break Free From Porn” Off Your To Do List

    January 15, 2022

    5 Mistakes We Make When We Talk About Pornography

    June 14, 2013

    What Boundaries Should You Have While Dating?

    May 16, 2023
  • Women and Pornography

    Take “Break Free From Porn” Off Your To Do List

    How many times have you told yourself this time will be the last time? Have you ever tried to quit watching pornography? Stop masturbating? Stop lusting? Then you have probably discovered it isn’t exactly easy. It seems like it should be, right? Isn’t this what God wants us to do? Doesn’t He want us to stop? You would think, then, that we would just be able to wake up one day and that’s it. It’s over. We’re done and never look back. Easy peasy. Isn’t that what so many pastors seem to preach? Just stop. You want to stop. You try to stop. So why can’t you stop? It might…

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    To the Girl Who Wonders if God Can Be a Good Father

    June 19, 2021

    I’m a Christian Woman Who Struggled with Porn. This is the Hardest Part About Sharing My Story.

    May 13, 2022

    What Every Pastor Needs to Know About Women and Porn

    April 17, 2021
  • Women and Pornography

    Tips for Fighting Temptation During the Holidays

    Is this time of year hard for you when it comes to your struggle? You would think all of the focus on gratitude and Jesus coming to earth would make it less likely for us to struggle. But that’s just not how it works. It’s important to remember that your struggle does not start when you pick up your phone or log on to your computer. It starts before that, and it can seem so much worse this time of year. Why? Well, if you’re in school, you are finishing up exams (hello, stress) followed by free time. If you are away from home, you’re coming back to family (and…

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    You May Also Like

    Three Signs You Are Exploiting People

    July 31, 2021

    The Pornification of Evangelical Christian Women

    January 13, 2023

    How Pornography Affected My Body Image (or, How Porn is Like Glitter)

    December 23, 2022
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