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Resource Review: Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Joy Welcher
My last post addressed the question, “Does God Really Want Me to Save Sex for Marriage?” In it, I mentioned this book Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Joy Welcher. I read this book through in January and, now that I’ve finished it, felt it was worth writing a quick review. I do this on occasion and hope to increase the frequency this year. On that note, I recently redid the resource page! Check it out for a more streamlined collection of books, videos, courses, and groups specifically for women who struggle with pornography. I’m also going to link up all of the book reviews I’ve done over the…
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Does God Really Want Me to Save Sex for Marriage?
Let’s close out this Does God series with a zinger. I actually don’t know if it’s a zinger, but it’s a question that is being asked and one that we really need to be ok trying to answer: Does God really want me to save sex for marriage? It’s a fair question. A common question. And for some reason, a hard question to tackle. I thought I had a decent post on it and then literally just deleted the whole thing and started over… three times now. I’ve actually lost sleep over this post, wanting to be sure it contributed to a culture of grace and goodness and not shame.…
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Does God Hate Me for Struggling with Porn?
As part of this Does God series, I really wanted to address a question I get quite often, “Does God hate me for struggling?” It’s not always so direct. Sometimes the woman has already answered it in her heart and mind: I’ve stopped praying because I’m such a hypocrite. I know God must be sick of me. There’s no way God could keep loving me. I open my Bible and feel like such a failure. This is a topic and angle of this struggle that is near and dear to my heart. The shame that so many women face in their struggle with pornography does great damage. It drives a…
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Does God Have a Problem with Fantasy?
Aside from pornography, it is the most popular topic of questions I get. Is it ok to fantasize? What if I fantasize and don’t masturbate? What if I’m fantasizing about my future husband? What if I’m fantasizing about my actual husband? What if we never “go all the way” in my fantasy? Is it wrong to imagine what sex is like? I feel like there’s an easy way to tackle this and a more complicated way. The easy way to address this is to just come right out and say, “fantasy is wrong.” If you’ve been exposed to church for any length of time, you have probably heard a sermon…
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Does God Care If I Watch Pornography?
This blog is written for a Christian audience, for Christian women specifically. It’s more than just a blog about women who struggle with porn. It is about helping women restore a relationship with God. The hope is that women reading this experience grace. What we believe God believes about our struggles is an important piece of that experience. If God doesn’t care about what I’m doing, I don’t need to stop. If God thinks I’m worthless because of my struggle, then I have no access to hope. The original question that raised the doubt that changed the course of history is a question of what God really said and meant.…
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Thirty Things You Can Do to Break Free in the New Year
I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions, but this time of year, they’re a thing. In the past couple years, for whatever reason, I’ve grown fond of the practice of choosing a word for the year. This year’s word was “trust.” Throughout the year, I’ll meditate on that word and what it means and how it’s supposed to impact my life. That’s not to say that New Year’s resolutions are a bad thing. They aren’t. Setting goals? Starting with a clean slate? Never bad things. For many of you, you desperately want next year to be the year. If that’s you, I wanted to throw together a list of things…
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Let’s Talk About Christian Romance Novels
Tis the season for snow-kissed romance. Now is the time when all the single ladies (and plenty of us married ladies) are snuggling up under a big fuzzy blanket in warm socks with a cup of hot chocolate watching romantic movie after romantic movie. Actually, it’s never been my thing, personally. The hot chocolate, fuzzy blanket and warm socks, absolutely! I’m not necessarily into the romance movies, but I know it is a thing for a lot of women. And that’s ok. Sort of. Let’s talk about it. “Can you please address what is wrong with Christian romance novels?” To be honest, I haven’t really addressed this much throughout the…
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Three Mindsets that Keep You From Freedom
Has anyone ever told you to “get out of your head?” I am an INTJ and an Enneagram 4w5 so being in my head is basically my absolute favorite place to be. I will think myself into all sorts of trouble. It can be a great asset when planning ahead for things, but it tends to be a weakness in many areas. We often talk about how our mind is a battlefield. If you do or have struggled with lust, fantasy, or pornography, you’ve heard this. You’ve heard that you have to win this war in your mind. Some people talk about learning to “change the channel” when inappropriate thoughts…
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Five Ways I Plan to Protect My Daughter from Pornography
As parents, there are many things we want to protect our children from, but how do we actually protect them from pornography? A few months after my husband and I were married, I found out I was expecting our first child. We soon learned I was carrying a little girl. The news completely surprised me. I always felt I would be better suited as a boy mom and my husband comes from a family of 7 boys and 1 girl, so I just imagined a future full of snakes, sticks, and ER trips. I felt entirely unprepared for pink, frilly dresses, and bows. The prospect was terrifying. But there was…