How does pornography affect a woman’s marriage, when she’s the one with the problem? That’s not a question many ask and even fewer know how to answer. When we talk about porn’s effect on marriages, ninety percent of the time we’re addressing a husband’s use that devastates the wife. We…

I confessed my struggle with pornography in late 2004. I had struggled for 5 years after being exposed at age 13. My “hobby” use quickly spiraled into what I would consider an addiction (though experts argue if that’s even a real thing. I say yes.) By the time I was…

Shame. For years, it’s been part of this conversation surrounding porn use. Shame is perhaps the greatest influencer of and weapon within the realm of sexuality. We shame men who struggle with porn. We shamefully say women don’t. We shame sexual assault victims. We shame the sexually confused. We shame…

If you follow me on Instagram, you know I’ve recently started attending counseling. This is different from the premarital counseling my fiance and I are going through together. This is huge for me for so many reasons. I can’t say that I’ve ever really cared for counselors. Recently, I was…

I was unbelievably close to entitling this post “God Doesn’t Actually Care About Your Virginity” but figured that wouldn’t go over well with those who don’t read past the title. Maybe you’ve seen the post that recently went viral in Christian circles. A post about how men prefer women who…

“I know you say to tell a woman about your porn problem, but what do you do if you’re attracted to women?” That question, in some form, kept popping up in my inbox recently. I had just finished writing about accountability. One of the keys I always stress for women…

When I was growing up, there were a lot of rules governing how I, as a woman, should interact with members of the opposite sex. It was a joke in our circles to always have a “Bible between” as if an extra six inches of space somehow made you forget…

It never fails, when I share I get a lot of questions. If the group is co-ed or over 40, the number one question is almost always “Why?” Keep in mind, it’s not typically a sympathetic and sincere “why.” It’s more along the lines of a disgusted, “Ugh! Why?” The…

Over two decades ago, I sat on a school bus next to a boy from my Christian elementary school.  It was the first time I came face-to-face with the thought that men only wanted me for my body and I had no rights to it. It would take years for…