Women & Pornography

Your Daughters Deserve Better

Trigger Warning: I have noticed a disturbing trend in the search terms that lead people to my site.  Creeping ever so slowly up the list are searches having to do with “daughter sex” or “daughter porn.”  And it makes my blood boil.  My top search term in Arabic is “daughter porn.”

It stands it stark contrast to one of the other trending searches, “What to do when a man asks me for pictures.

Right there, predator and prey, both stumbling on my site.

I was hoping that it was only because of my blog name, but then a friend published this blog post sharing that daddy daughter porn searches are one of the leading searches taking people to their site as well.  And “daughter” is nowhere in their name.

You know what’s even more disturbing?  I know my site and their site are not on the first page of those search results.  In fact, I would guess they are not in the top 100 search results.

That means that somewhere out there, someone searching for this stuff is so bored by the content of the first 100 results (which were likely pornographic) that they skipped over all of them and came to two anti-porn sites, hoping to find something new.

It keeps in step with data from major porn sites (which I’m not going to link here, for obvious reasons) that shows incest of various forms and searches for teen girls rank at the top of the most-searched form of pornography.

The big sister, the “aunt”, the former high school teacher in me all want to simultaneously throw up and scream,

“Leave the girls alone.”

I have a hard time having any kind of compassion or respect for a man who would type something like “daughter sex” into a search engine.  In fact, my initial reaction is to lock him in a room with some of my male friends who are fathers and grant them immunity for whatever happens.

There’s also the reality that some of the people searching for this may actually be the victims of incest themselves, seeking to normalize what happened to them.  I have seen the other side of this.  I have sat with the girls who have been molested, raped, sold by their fathers.  It destroys something in the very fiber of their being.  It corrupts one of the most sacred bonds of love we know.

It’s bad enough when parents leave or are emotionally absent, but to have a parent objectify their own flesh and blood?  It’s a deep, dark, level of wrong and I hate that it’s a trending search term.

Nearly every event I do, I have a father come up to me afterward asking for help with his daughter.  Some know their daughters are caught up in pornography and sexting, others are unsure how to go about broaching the subject.  These fathers come for help out of love, the love of a father, wanting the world for his little girl, wanting to help her grow into a secure, healthy, vibrant woman.

And now, it seems there are others.  Others who, instead of the love of a father, have an insatiable lust as a father.  A lust that would chase after and prey on their own children, objectifying their own flesh and blood, or at the very least, fantasize about doing so and get off on content depicting others doing so.

How broken does a heart have to be?

I don’t know what leads people to search for things like this.  It doesn’t have to be a father.  It could be a daughter who was victimized herself.  It could be a father, a mother, a brother, a sister… whoever it is and however it is happening, the fact that there is an increasing demand for this terrifies me.

It may reflect a brokenness in male consumers or a brokenness in female victims seeking to normalize what has happened to them.

My fear, above all else, is that this trend will grow and breed a generation of fathers who view their children sexually.  In turn, they will breed a generation of children who don’t have a healthy understanding of families, sex, or relationships.  The corrupt will beget the broken.  It will be a nasty downward spiral.

It’s yet another representation of how pornography destroys our relationships, even the ones we are supposed to trust the most.  The cycle won’t break until the people involved get help and take a stand for real love and healthy relationships.

I don’t hate pornography because I have a problem with sex.  I hate pornography because it leads people down roads like this.  I hate pornography because I believe men, especially fathers, can do better and women, especially daughters, deserve better.