I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions, but this time of year, they’re a thing. In the past couple years, for whatever reason, I’ve grown fond of the practice of choosing a word for the year. This year’s word was “trust.” Throughout the year, I’ll meditate on that word and…
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What Does Accountability Look Like in Marriage?
Is your marriage a safe place to struggle? Lately, I’ve been writing a lot about accountability. It’s perhaps one of the most important and yet misunderstood aspects of a freedom journey. If you write me about your struggle with pornography and ask what you should do, the very first thing…
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The Mistakes We Make With Accountability
Ask any group helping people overcome a struggle with porn and you’ll probably hear them talk about the importance of accountability. Even Christian organizations will emphasize this important step. But, did you know, accountability as we define it is actually nowhere in the Bible? There are Biblical principles of confession…
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Sharing Your Story with Family: Thoughts on Shame, Grace, and Loss
It’s a question so many women have: How am I supposed to tell my family? My husband? My kids? My parents? Perhaps you didn’t know this. Maybe you did. But my family doesn’t talk about what I do. It’s a complicated dynamic. Along with fierce loyalty and love, there’s some…
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When Porn is Stuck in Your Head
You know what’s tricky about pornography? It’s portable. If you have an issue with drugs or alcohol, you can put physical distance between you and your vice. But if I lock you in a room with access to absolutely nothing, you can still struggle with pornography. I get it. I’ve…
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Pornography on Lockdown: Navigating External Triggers
This is the last post in a series of three on the topic of triggers. In the first, I talked about identifying triggers. In the second, I talked about what to do with internal triggers. This post is going to focus on dealing with external triggers and, as promised, there…
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5 Mistakes We Make When We Talk About Pornography
I’ll never forget sitting through a church service and listening as the preacher, over and over again, with disgust talked about how sick people in pornography are. The men who watch it are sick. The women in it are sick. The men in it are sick. Sick. Sick. Sick. I…