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The Mistakes We Make With Accountability
Ask any group helping people overcome a struggle with porn and you’ll probably hear them talk about the importance of accountability. Even Christian organizations will emphasize this important step. But, did you know, accountability as we define it is actually nowhere in the Bible? There are Biblical principles of confession and honesty in community, but there is no chapter and verse that tells you to tell a friend/stranger about your struggle and ask them to check in on you daily. Accountability is a tool that many of us have found useful in our own journeys and in the journeys of those we help. However, based on emails I have received…
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Accountability is not confession
As we start up this series on Accountability, it is important that we have a clear understanding of what, exactly, we are talking about. A basic definition of accountability is this: Refusing to fight for freedom all on my own and inviting someone specific to join me in the fight. Some of you are reading that and thinking, “Not helpful!” You want specifics. You want to know what it looks like, and how it works in real life. It is like reading an instruction manual and thinking, “sounds easy enough!” Then, you open the box with all the pieces and parts and bolts and screws and think, “What was step 1…
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5 Mistakes We Make When We Talk About Pornography
I’ll never forget sitting through a church service and listening as the preacher, over and over again, with disgust talked about how sick people in pornography are. The men who watch it are sick. The women in it are sick. The men in it are sick. Sick. Sick. Sick. I was torn between wanting to crawl out the back door and standing up and telling him to zip it. I did neither. Yes, we should be talking about pornography in church. Just not like that. This is just one of many mistakes we can make, whether in ministry or not, when it comes to addressing the sins of lust and…