Resources
-
Why There Aren’t More Resources for Christian Women Struggling with Pornography?
When it comes to Christians struggling with pornography, the market is relatively flooded with resources for men. (Still, over 90% of churches have no support for men or women). This is how it was even decades ago when I, a Christian teenage girl, searched for help for my porn addiction. For years, I thought my consumption of pornography was healthy and even normal. I saw it as a safer alternative to sleeping around and a way for me to express and explore my sexuality while still honoring all of the tenants of purity culture. My church didn’t talk about pornography, other than vague mentions of “Men, what you are looking…
-
The Journey of Quenched: Discovering God’s Abundant Grace for Women Struggling with Pornography and Sexual Shame
This coming week is a big week. It is the week Quenched launches into the world. If you’re curious what the journey from idea to bookshelf can look like, here you go. You may not know this, but the journey of Quenched started back in 2013. I share a bit of this story in the introduction of the book, but it’s a question I’ve been asked in several podcasts and interviews, “Why did you write this book?” That summer, I was staying at my grandparents’ house. I had just finished working as a teacher so I had the summer off to enjoy and made a trip to see them. Beggar’s…
-
What Do I Need to Do to Stop Watching Porn?
If you want to break free from a struggle with pornography, you may be wondering: What do I need to do to stop watching porn? What do I need to give up? Is there some sort of trick? Different “experts” may have different strategies. When I was first beginning my journey of freedom, the “course” I was using called for “radical amputation” of any sort of electronic device. No TV. No smartphone. This, the author believed, was the equivalent of “gouging out your right eye” which is what Jesus says in Matthew 5:29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it…
-
The Flirtation Experiment and Why Intimacy Matters
“When does the love fade away?” I was sitting in hair and makeup with Brittni De La Mora, a former porn actress and now leader of XXXchurch and Love Always Ministries. Brittni and I were speaking on a panel for CBN’s Unhooked: Purity in a Pornified World. It’s not often that I get an opportunity to talk with women in similar places of ministry and life. Brittni and her husband got married in 2016. My husband and I got married in 2018. We each had girls, three months apart. So, sitting in the room with her felt like an opportunity to gain some wisdom. My husband and I were just…
-
Resource Review: We Too by Mary DeMuth
The purpose of this blog isn’t just to address women struggling with pornography, but really to change the conversation about women and sexuality in the church. How does grace impact our struggles and intersect with our wounds? How can the church immitate the love and grace of God while addressing things like sexual addiction, sexual identity, and sexual abuse? Since I just finished up the series addressing porn in the church, I wanted to highlight a resource that addresses another issue in the church: Sexual abuse. As a victim of sexual abuse at the hands of someone in my church, this is something I hold dear. I’ve written about it…
-
Resource Review: Unwanted by Jay Stringer
Today, I’m reviewing Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer. As a friendly reminder, as is the case for all of my reviews, I buy these books personally and read them cover-to-cover before I share them with you. No paid endorsements here and no quick skims and half-hearted summaries. The only commission I make is through sharing affiliate links like the one below. If it’s not worth my time and money, it’s not worth yours. I want to say I’ve met Jay before but honestly, I don’t know. Maybe? I think we follow each other on social media… maybe? At any rate, his is a…
-
Resource Review: Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Joy Welcher
My last post addressed the question, “Does God Really Want Me to Save Sex for Marriage?” In it, I mentioned this book Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Joy Welcher. I read this book through in January and, now that I’ve finished it, felt it was worth writing a quick review. I do this on occasion and hope to increase the frequency this year. On that note, I recently redid the resource page! Check it out for a more streamlined collection of books, videos, courses, and groups specifically for women who struggle with pornography. I’m also going to link up all of the book reviews I’ve done over the…
-
Review of Sexual Sanity for Women
Reblogged from Covenant Eyes When I was asked to review Sexual Sanity for Women, I was far less than excited. As a woman who battled pornography addiction, I know the frustration of trying to find resources to help me. At first there were none, and then the men’s resources were just reprinted more gender neutral or with pink covers to make them more women-friendly. I have had several friends ask me to read books over the years—books written by men, books written by married couples, books written by women that addressed the broad-sweeping idea of purity with a little lust sprinkled in there for good measure. One book was exactly the…
