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Beggar's Daughter

Communicating the Truth of God's Grace to a Generation of Women Trapped in Sexual Sin

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  • Featured,  Sex & Singleness

    The Pornification of Evangelical Christian Women

    Over the years, as I’ve recovered and perhaps deconstructed my own experience in the purity culture, I’ve noticed a sad trend. It’s one I’ve written about many times, but it’s the reality that, so often, in many churches, our approach to sex and marriage looks almost identical to pornography. A friend of mine, Luke Gilkerson, recently wrote a review of a new book, It’s Good to Be a Man. I won’t link the book, but his review is here. I got partway through his review before I wanted to buy the book just so I could throw it at a wall. He summarizes the book as pointing out three “uniquely…

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    I’m a Christian Woman Who Struggled with Porn. This is the Hardest Part About Sharing My Story.

    May 13, 2022

    What Does Freedom From Pornography Look Like?

    July 24, 2021

    How to Porn-Proof Your Marriage (A Guide for Wives)

    February 25, 2023
  • Women & Pornography

    Porn and Parenting: How Pornography Affected My Journey as a Mom

    Over the years, I’ve tried to be very honest about how my struggle with pornography has impacted different seasons of my life. It affected me while single, and then even in marriage, and now, I’ve noticed, even in motherhood. If you’re a woman who struggles or struggled with pornography, I don’t share this to freak you out or discourage you, but just to keep things real. I share with you things that would have helped me if people had shared them with me. I have to say I didn’t think that my years of struggle with pornography would affect my role as a mom. It made sense to me that…

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    You May Also Like

    How Porn Has Affected My Marriage: One Year In

    August 31, 2019

    Beggar’s Daughter: Why I’m Still Speaking

    September 25, 2020

    Porn and Parenting: How to talk to Your Child about Porn

    August 21, 2021
  • Women & Pornography

    Swimsuits and What the Modest is Hottest Message Gets Wrong

    This was originally going to be a post about swimsuits. I wrote it. Rewrote it, and still felt stuck. It’s summertime in the States, and that means water activities. Beaches, pools, water parks, oh my! And for women who struggle with lust, it can mean hour after hour, day after day of temptation. Most of the time, when we talk about modesty and lust in the summertime, we’re telling the women what to wear. We want them to dress modestly so that men won’t lust. We forget that women can struggle with lust too. So I struggled to come up with some metric. Some balance when writing a post on…

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    You May Also Like

    How Pornography has Affected my Marriage: Newlywed Edition

    October 6, 2018

    When Should I Tell My Boyfriend About My Porn Problem?

    October 1, 2015

    How Pornography Affected My Body Image (or, How Porn is Like Glitter)

    December 23, 2022
  • Purity
    Sex & Singleness

    Should We Stop Talking About Purity?

    Purity was a big deal in the 90s.  I grew up with purity rings, purity pledges, purity conferences, books, and songs.  But, as an adult who speaks to teenagers, I have to ask myself, is “purity” outdated? I don’t mean the idea of abstinence, but the actual language itself.  Over the years I have seen the damage done by what can sometimes be a very legalistic, unforgiving, black-and-white, and very confusing so-called purity culture.  Depending on where you are, “purity” can also encompass rules about modesty, dating vs. courting, kissing, hugging, etc. Over the next few posts, I want to look at the “purity culture” and challenge those who promote…

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    You May Also Like

    Thoughts on Donny Pauling (and a message for us all)

    November 7, 2015

    Temptation, Dating, and Building Boundaries That Work

    June 2, 2018

    On Culture, Sex, Influence, and Why Personal Responsibility Matters

    April 10, 2021
  • Sex & Singleness

    Life is More than Sex and Marriage: Thoughts from a 31-Year-Old Virgin

    I get asked all kinds of questions about sex, singleness, marriage, shame, hope, dating… you name it. Do I think I’m still single because I watched porn? Do I think I’ll never be able to get married because I watched porn? How do I acknowledge my sex drive without letting it ruin my life? Do I have hope for a future as a wife and mom? What are my thoughts on dating and courtship? …and the list goes on. Growing up, I admired single women. I remember looking up to Heather Payne, from Point of Grace, and Rebecca St. James. I would write them and ask, “How do you do…

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    You May Also Like

    The Flirtation Experiment and Why Intimacy Matters

    February 11, 2022

    Don’t Carry Shame With You: Hope for Future Relationships

    August 3, 2018

    Question Girls Ask: What Characteristics Should I Look For in a Future Husband?

    June 23, 2017
  • Purity & Freedom,  Sex & Singleness

    Kissing is Not Sex: Part 2

    I started writing this followup to my previous post Kissing is Not Sex. A couple thousands words later (that is no exaggeration), I realized a few things: 1. I was still nowhere near making my point 2. Thousands of words is far too long for a blog post All of that to say that this topic is probably not succinctly covered in two little (or not so little) blog posts.  Whenever we look at anything regarding relationships, there are variables and lots of them.  One size simply does not fit all.  A relationship between two people with past sexual experiences will look different than a relationship between two virgins in their…

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    setting goals

    The Secret to Setting Goals (So You Can Actually Reach Them)

    December 31, 2015

    Will You Let Go For Freedom?

    February 10, 2016

    Motivation or Inspiration- Which One Do You Need?

    August 9, 2016
  • Sex & Singleness,  Women & Pornography

    Sexting: What To Do If A Man Asks You For Pictures

    I had originally intended on continuing the series on accountability today, but something on Twitter last night caught my eye. There was a conference on The Gospel and Human Sexuality in progress and many people were tweeting live from it.  So, the top trending topic was #erlcsummit.  I was excited to see it being talked about. The third trending topic, however, made my heart stop for a minute.  Apparently, yesterday was National Send Your Man Some Nudes Day.  It is an unofficial holiday to say the least and many women on Twitter were mocking it, posting pictures of their bare arms or a bottle of Naked fruit juice.  Still, some…

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    You May Also Like

    Why Am I So Tempted When I’ve Never Fooled Around?

    August 16, 2016
    Does the Purity Movement Objectify Women

    Women are not chocolates: The mistake many purity arguments make

    August 23, 2017

    Don’t Carry Shame With You: Hope for Future Relationships

    August 3, 2018
  • Women & Pornography

    Hit Me With Your Best Shock: How 50 Shades Has Captured Women

    Behind every tidal wave of culture is an earth-shaking pain.  Everything that enrages us (or at the least offends us) as Christians, stems from a place of brokenness in the life of the offender.  Somewhere a message was missed.  Somewhere, we fell short of God’s glory and became OK with being there.  The same is true when it comes to this new wave of erotica, spurred by the book, “50 Shades of Grey.” Fifty Shades has revealed something in the subconscious of our culture.  Like an MRI gives us a picture of the innermost workings of our brains, the trends of culture gives us a picture of the innermost workings…

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    You May Also Like

    A Voice for Victims: Speaking Up For Victims of Sexual Assault

    October 28, 2015

    Patience and Pornography: The Delicate Balance of the Healing Journey

    November 16, 2018

    Five Tips for Staying Connected in the Bedroom

    February 11, 2023
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