Women & Pornography

Watching for the Overflow- Pride




There are three overflows of the heart that can indicate an addiction to pornography:


Sex Obsession,

and Pride.

Individually, they don’t point specifically to a porn addiction.  Sin itself can tend to anger, as can overwhelming pain (such as in the case of abuse).  Sex obsession can also be caused by other things- such as abuse, early exposure, sexual trauma, and poor choices in media or friendship.

When the three of them are present together, though, you are highly likely to be dealing with someone who struggles with a sexual sin of some sort.  It may be pornography, lust, or actual sexual acting out.

But, Jessica, you may be saying, “Isn’t pride a personality?”

The pride in question here is more of an un-teachableness (I’m not sure if that is even a word).

This is not the pride that says, “I am better than you.”

This is not the pride that says, “I’m number one!”

This is not the pride that says, “Go ahead, try to impress me.”

This is the pride that says, straight up, “I’m not listening to you.”  It is the heart equivalent of ‘talk to the hand.’  It is the cold stare, the eye roll, the scoff.  This is the “You’re not the boss of me” pride.

This is a spirit that, when it catches on that you might be catching on to it, will avoid you at all costs. 

At first glance, she may be friendly and outgoing.  She may look like a very easygoing person.  It’s much like the students I teach in school, though.  They come in playing the part- calm, cool, and collected until you tell them they don’t know something.  Then the gloves come off.

An unteachable spirit won’t manifest until you actually try to teach it  whether by correcting, offering advice or simply voicing an observation.  A woman with an unteachable spirit won’t necessarily backfire on you.  If she is one who tends to anger, then yes, she might. 

In most other cases, you will either get stonewalled or drowned in a wave of tears. 

I can remember my second year of Bible college.  I was coming to the realization that I might just not know everything (only took me twenty years).  I had become ok with correction and advice from older women but when peers attempted, my feathers got ruffled.  One woman, in particular, noticed that I was paying a lot of (maybe too much) attention to a young man in school.  She pulled me to the side and quoted some verses and encouraged me to reconsider my actions and my motives.

My reaction was one of anger, embarrassment and unteachableness.  My cheeks flushed red and I avoided eye contact.  I was one who tended to anger, so I lashed out.  I told her she was wrong, and how dare she think she could just walk up to a perfect stranger and judge her heart.  She didn’t know me.

In hindsight, she was right.  Forget hindsight, I knew it then, but I was still working on being teachable.  I was still working on how to accept counsel and discern between what is true and what is false or misinformation. 

When battling sin, your ability to discern is shot.  If it was strong, you wouldn’t be where you are.

Still, it is tempting to think that you have it all together.  Again, it is partly a protection thing.  It is also partly a God thing.  If we’re not willing to accept His definition of right and wrong and His counsel, then of course we won’t accept man’s.