Lust & FantasyPornographyPurity & Freedom

Avoiding the Post-Thanksgiving Porn Crash

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, which is great.  It’s the next day that I am worried about.

 

It always seemed to me that after really great days, came even greater failures.

Thanksgiving can embody everything we want for ourselves as women.  On Thanksgiving, we are the cook that shames Top Chef.  We are laughing and spending time with family.  We are focusing on gratefulness, swimming in our blessings.  We are praising God for His provision, and eating until we can’t breathe.  We are connecting with people around us, enjoying time with people, and away from the stresses of work, school, and life.  It is like a day off life to celebrate life.

It is also the perfect recipe for a truly “black” Friday spent wallowing in a pit of our own self-pity and indulging in pornography.

Why Friday could be dangerous 

Friday (or Thursday night) could be a dangerous time for your walk in freedom.  I noticed it was always a pattern in my life that I fell hardest after super emotional things.  If I felt very blessed one day, the moment that feeling of blessedness wore off, I came crashing down.  While I was down, I would start to mope around.  That was always the beginning of the end for me.  It could be the beginning of the end for you too!  Here’s why:

1.  You may be bored.  After a day of hustle and bustle, many people take time to recuperate.  “Recuperate” = relaxing = temptation.  I’m not saying that taking some time to chill is bad; I am saying that it can be dangerous.  With all that time off and everything closed, what else do you have to do but cruise the internet or daydream?

2.  You may be alone.  Family is traveling back, shopping, or in their own respective turkey comas.  Many of us know alone time is dangerous time, especially extended periods of alone time.

3.  You may be suddenly disconnected from people.  Thursday, the world breaks to enjoy each other’s company. But then, real life is staring you in the face again and everyone, for the most part, goes back to their own little routines.  The great personal connection of Thanksgiving dinner is gone, leaving you with nothing but a feeling of emptiness and a desire to be needed.

4.  You may be stressed or tired.  Thanksgiving is exhausting work.  Top that off with a healthy does of tryptophan and your best friend will be a snooze button.  But for many of us, we turn to masturbation or porn to relieve stress and unwind, or we just go there out of subconscious habit.

5.  You want a husband and you want him now.  Holidays are hard for single people; I know.  This is my 27th round of holidays as a single (not like the first 20 rounds or so really bothered me).   It doesn’t help that my birthday falls between Thanksgiving and Christmas, so between attending family dinners with my not-growing family and watching as at least two friends get engaged or married, I am reminded that I am not getting any younger.

Then, to top it all off, New Year’s comes in and someone else will get engaged and someone else will remind me that this year “might be my year.”  So, no, holidays are not easy in the contentment department.  Pornography feeds off discontentment, especially discontentment about my marital status which in turn refers to my sexual status.

But difficult does not have to mean impossible.

Some Ideas to Avoid a Post-Thanksgiving Porn Crash

 The key here is to Never stop being thankful.  I have posted this over on the Beggar’s Daughter Facebook Page multiple times (PS:  Like Beggar’s Daughter on Facebook!) .  

Lust cannot thrive in a heart that knows it is blessed.  

* Sticky-Note Gatekeepers.  Tomorrow, as you are focusing so intently on things to be thankful for, write some down on a sticky note and put it the first place you go when you are discouraged.  Do you head for the laptop?  The bathroom?  The bedroom to shut the door?  The Kindle?  Wherever that place is that you go to escape, stick that sticky note to it.  Then, when you go to that place, feeling dejected and sorry for yourself, that little sticky note can be an attitude check.  

* Praise God on Repeat.  Maybe you’re one of those cranky people who just can’t think of a reason to be grateful, or maybe your life is just in a hard place right now.  In that case, purposefully focus on the goodness of God.  First thing in the morning, turn on praise and worship in your iPod, laptop, or whatever music-playing device you have.  If you have to play it all day, play it all day until your heart begins to worship; you’ll know when.

* Letter to a Friend.  Missing that human connection?  Odds are, some people in your life are missing it too.  Write a letter or call an old friend just to catch up.  Write a letter of appreciation to a mentor in your life or a pastor in your church.  You know how good it feels when other people reach out to let you know you mean something, quit living in a hole and reach out to others.

Prayer Walk.  Ever been on one of these?  You should.  Thanksgiving night, lay out your walking clothes and put your shoes by your bed (make doing this as convenient as possible).  The next morning, get up, put them on and go for a walk and pray.

As you walk, just thank God for what you see, for His creation, for the time you got to spend with family, for how much He has blessed you, for your health, for the people in your church family… the list goes on and you continue praying as long as you walk.  This does two things; first, it focuses your mind on Christ.  Then, it kick-starts your metabolism which gives you energy and it releases feel-good hormones called endorphins or so they say.

Guess what endorphins do?  They relieve stress (sound familiar?) Yes, endorphins are the chemical released during orgasm- the ones that make you feel like your stress just melted away.  So, when you prayer walk, you are strengthening yourself against all sorts of attacks.  Through prayer, you are strengthening your mind and spirit.  By walking, you are relieving your physical and part of your emotional need (and burning some of the excess 2,000 calories you ate the day before… but who’s counting?)

All in all, ladies, it is my desire that you would ‘survive’ this Thanksgiving season without falling.  

If you have any other thoughts, please share!  While you’re at it, take a picture of whatever you did and post it on the Facebook wall.  Let’s encourage each other to have a purely wonderful (yes, pun intended) Thanksgiving.

Now to Him Who is able to keep you without stumbling or slipping or falling, and to present [you] unblemished (blameless and faultless) before the presence of His glory in triumphant joy and exultation [with unspeakable, ecstatic delight]— To the one only God, our Savior through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory (splendor), majesty, might and dominion, and power and authority, before all time and now and forever (unto all the ages of eternity). Amen (so be it).

Jude 1:24-25 {Amplified}

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2 comments

  1. Jessica, thanks for each of your posts–and may you too have a great, pure Thanksgiving!

  2. Hey, we don’t celebrate thanksgiving in my country. But it’s definitely true that I’m vulnerable after emotional times. Like Christmas. Or Easter. Or after coming home from a great night out with friends.
    I love that truth, that pornography feeds off discontentment. So the key might be learning to be content in any situation, whether single or married, busy or resting.
    I love using worship music as a way out of temptation. And that sticky note idea is great!