• Home
  • My Story
  • My Books
  • Speaking
  • Contact
Beggar's Daughter

Communicating the Truth of God's Grace to a Generation of Women Trapped in Sexual Sin

  • Home
  • Sex & Singleness
  • Women & Pornography
  • Free Resources
  • Resources
  • Home
  • Sex & Singleness
  • Women & Pornography
  • Free Resources
  • Resources
covenanteyes

  • Featured,  Women & Pornography

    How to Porn-Proof Your Marriage (A Guide for Wives)

    When we talk about Christian women struggling with pornography, I think it’s important we acknowledge married Christian women also struggle with pornography. This tells us two things: First, it tells us that marriage won’t fix your porn problem. Second, it tells us we need to address the issues that are unique to married women who struggle with pornography. I posted something on Facebook recently in regards to the question, “What would I tell a wife whose husband is going to be gone for a while and has asked for pictures of her so that he doesn’t look at porn?” This is not an uncommon or unheard of scenario in my…

    read more

    You May Also Like

    Five Tips for Staying Connected in the Bedroom

    February 11, 2023

    What Does Freedom From Pornography Look Like?

    July 24, 2021

    I’m a Christian Woman Who Struggled with Porn. This is the Hardest Part About Sharing My Story.

    May 13, 2022
  • Featured,  Sex & Singleness

    The Pornification of Evangelical Christian Women

    Over the years, as I’ve recovered and perhaps deconstructed my own experience in the purity culture, I’ve noticed a sad trend. It’s one I’ve written about many times, but it’s the reality that, so often, in many churches, our approach to sex and marriage looks almost identical to pornography. A friend of mine, Luke Gilkerson, recently wrote a review of a new book, It’s Good to Be a Man. I won’t link the book, but his review is here. I got partway through his review before I wanted to buy the book just so I could throw it at a wall. He summarizes the book as pointing out three “uniquely…

    read more

    You May Also Like

    I’m a Christian Woman Who Struggled with Porn. This is the Hardest Part About Sharing My Story.

    May 13, 2022

    The Journey of Quenched: Discovering God’s Abundant Grace for Women Struggling with Pornography and Sexual Shame

    January 28, 2023

    How to Porn-Proof Your Marriage (A Guide for Wives)

    February 25, 2023
  • Women & Pornography

    What Does it Mean to Marry a “Leader?”

    I’ve seen a lot of talk in my circles recently about Christian women needing to marry a leader. I actually recorded a video on the topic for Instagram but then never posted it. Let me tell you the tale of two Instagram accounts. The first will remain unnamed, but it is an account that specializes in responding to bad relationship advice. It blew me away the number of “Christian” men who had absolutely horrid dating advice. Horrid. Misogynistic, unBiblical “standards” that they are preaching as gospel truth. Just the other day he posted a video response to a man who said “real” men don’t let women set boundaries, provide for…

    read more

    You May Also Like

    setting goals

    The Secret to Setting Goals (So You Can Actually Reach Them)

    December 31, 2015

    Your Daughters Deserve Better

    March 29, 2017

    Sharing Your Story with Family: Thoughts on Shame, Grace, and Loss

    July 17, 2020
  • Women & Pornography

    Porn and Marriage: Should We Treat Porn Like Cheating?

    We’re tackling a tricky one this week as part of our Porn and Marriage series, so let’s just jump in. Should We Consider Porn the Same as Cheating? Here’s how the scenario seems to play out in a male struggler/female partner relationship. The woman catches the man watching pornography and the following conversation starts something like this: How can you watch that stuff? Why are you choosing those women over me? I’m right here. Am I not good enough for you? You don’t really love me. You love those fake women on that screen. What!? No! It’s not like that. Of course I love you. Of course I think you’re…

    read more

    You May Also Like

    Beggar’s Daughter: Why I’m Still Speaking

    September 25, 2020

    Sexual Assault and “Protecting the Christian Reputation”

    March 16, 2018

    Hit Me With Your Best Shock: How 50 Shades Has Captured Women

    September 24, 2012
  • Women & Pornography

    What Does Accountability Look Like in Marriage?

    Is your marriage a safe place to struggle? Lately, I’ve been writing a lot about accountability. It’s perhaps one of the most important and yet misunderstood aspects of a freedom journey. If you write me about your struggle with pornography and ask what you should do, the very first thing I will tell you is you need to share your story with someone (other than me). That’s not because you need a babysitter or because you need shamed. It’s because that’s the first step in tearing down shame and reestablishing community. Pornography, by its nature, is isolating. Shame, by its nature, isolates even more and shrouds in lies. So, sharing…

    read more

    You May Also Like

    Does God Have a Problem with Fantasy?

    January 16, 2021

    How Pornography has Affected my Marriage: Newlywed Edition

    October 6, 2018

    What Does it Mean to Marry a “Leader?”

    November 1, 2022
  • Women & Pornography

    The Mistakes We Make With Accountability

    Ask any group helping people overcome a struggle with porn and you’ll probably hear them talk about the importance of accountability. Even Christian organizations will emphasize this important step. But, did you know, accountability as we define it is actually nowhere in the Bible? There are Biblical principles of confession and honesty in community, but there is no chapter and verse that tells you to tell a friend/stranger about your struggle and ask them to check in on you daily. Accountability is a tool that many of us have found useful in our own journeys and in the journeys of those we help. However, based on emails I have received…

    read more

    You May Also Like

    Porn and Parenting: How to talk to Your Child about Porn

    August 21, 2021

    When Porn is Stuck in Your Head

    June 5, 2020

    The Pictures Never Go Away: What I wish I had understood about sexting

    September 6, 2016
  • Resources

    Resource Review: With These Words by Rob Flood

    This isn’t going to be a normal review for me, mostly because this isn’t a book about women struggling with porn. (You can find resources for that here) But stay with me, because this book is good. I was given free early access electronically by my friends at New Growth Press (who also publish one of my favorite women-who-struggle-with-porn resources, Sexual Sanity for Women). However, after reading just the introduction, I knew I wanted this book, so I went online and bought a copy for myself. My husband and I started reading it together as soon as we got it. Why review a book on communication? My resource page is…

    read more

    You May Also Like

    Porn in Church: Resources for Helping Pastors Address Pornography

    July 17, 2021

    How Do I Protect My Child from Pornography? Resources for Parents

    October 15, 2021

    Not Marked: Finding Hope & Healing After Sexual Abuse – Resource Review

    January 25, 2019
  • Women & Pornography

    How Porn Has Affected My Marriage: One Year In

    When I wrote my book, Beggar’s Daughter, the main goal was to give practical insight into my journey as a female porn addict. No one was talking about it, especially people in the church. Pastors and counselors didn’t know how to address it and women who struggled had very limited resources. In sharing my story, I wanted to offer a glimpse into the pain of brokenness and the healing hope found in grace. Occasionally, I like to give updates on my journey in order to continue that story and to help those with questions like, “How will porn affect my marriage?” I searched for posts like this when I was…

    read more

    You May Also Like

    Five Mistakes Churches Make When Handling Sexual Assault

    January 12, 2018

    Christian Women and Pornography: What the Statistics Might Not Tell You

    May 12, 2018

    Will You Let Go For Freedom?

    February 10, 2016
  • Sex & Singleness

    No, You Are Not Damaged Goods

    “Only a low quality man would marry such damaged goods.” I made a mistake the other day. I logged on to Twitter. I’ve been staying off it because it really messes with my emotions- even more than lacking sleep or food. Honestly, nothing compares to the low I get from being on Twitter. It’s the most depressing place on the internet for me, and my experience the other day reminded me of why. To be clear, the statement above was in reference to Rachael Denhollander and her husband, Jacob. Oddly enough, it’s in response to Jacob promoting Rachael’s upcoming book “What is a girl worth?” (Apparently, Twitter dude’s response would…

    read more

    You May Also Like

    Is the Christian View of Sex a Threat to Masculinity?

    March 29, 2019
    Purity

    Should We Stop Talking About Purity?

    July 31, 2017

    Three Cultures That Influence Female Sexuality

    March 9, 2018
 Older Posts
2023 Jessica Harris ©
  • Home
  • Privacy Policy
  • Resources
  • Contact
Ashe Theme by WP Royal.