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Beggar's Daughter

Communicating the Truth of God's Grace to a Generation of Women Trapped in Sexual Sin

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covenanteyes

  • Featured,  Sex & Singleness

    The Pornification of Evangelical Christian Women

    Over the years, as I’ve recovered and perhaps deconstructed my own experience in the purity culture, I’ve noticed a sad trend. It’s one I’ve written about many times, but it’s the reality that, so often, in many churches, our approach to sex and marriage looks almost identical to pornography. A friend of mine, Luke Gilkerson, recently wrote a review of a new book, It’s Good to Be a Man. I won’t link the book, but his review is here. I got partway through his review before I wanted to buy the book just so I could throw it at a wall. He summarizes the book as pointing out three “uniquely…

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    You May Also Like

    What Does Freedom From Pornography Look Like?

    July 24, 2021

    The Journey of Quenched: Discovering God’s Abundant Grace for Women Struggling with Pornography and Sexual Shame

    January 28, 2023

    I’m a Christian Woman Who Struggled with Porn. This is the Hardest Part About Sharing My Story.

    May 13, 2022
  • Women & Pornography

    Porn and Parenting: How Pornography Affected My Journey as a Mom

    Over the years, I’ve tried to be very honest about how my struggle with pornography has impacted different seasons of my life. It affected me while single, and then even in marriage, and now, I’ve noticed, even in motherhood. If you’re a woman who struggles or struggled with pornography, I don’t share this to freak you out or discourage you, but just to keep things real. I share with you things that would have helped me if people had shared them with me. I have to say I didn’t think that my years of struggle with pornography would affect my role as a mom. It made sense to me that…

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    You May Also Like

    Boundaries, Discernment, and Why You Might Reconsider Redeeming Love

    January 20, 2022

    Motivation or Inspiration- Which One Do You Need?

    August 9, 2016

    How to Help a Friend Who Struggles with Porn

    April 26, 2019
  • Featured,  Women & Pornography

    What Does Freedom From Pornography Look Like?

    So many Christian women write in saying they want freedom from pornography. Here’s my question for them (for you): what does that look like? On a road trip recently, I stopped by my mother’s house. Every time, without fail, she hands me something of mine that she found while going through boxes in her basement. This time, she handed me a bag and as I went through it, I found a tiny notepad. I caught a glimpse of the first page: “Dear God, Tonight I’m fighting, struggling…” I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. What had I written? Had she read it all? What does she know? Yes, I share…

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    You May Also Like

    I’m a Christian Woman Who Struggled with Porn. This is the Hardest Part About Sharing My Story.

    May 13, 2022

    The Journey of Quenched: Discovering God’s Abundant Grace for Women Struggling with Pornography and Sexual Shame

    January 28, 2023

    The Pornification of Evangelical Christian Women

    January 13, 2023
  • Sex & Singleness

    Porn in Church: Pastors, How You Preach About Sex Matters.

    Pastor, let me ask you a question. How do you talk about sex in church? Better yet, do you talk about sex in church? The longer I am at this, the more I am convinced that how we, as Christians, talk about sex matters. We idolize virginity. For decades, the church at large has adopted a mindset solely focused on purity. When I was a teenager, purity pledges and purity rings were all the rage. But purity was really just a Christian way to say “abstinence.” Our message about sex was “don’t you dare do it before you’re married. If you do, you are forever marked. Your spouse will be…

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    You May Also Like

    No, You Are Not Damaged Goods

    August 16, 2019

    Questions Girls Ask: Will A Sexual Past Ruin My Wedding Night?

    September 9, 2016
    Abstinence Sex Ed

    Why I Don’t Support Abstinence-Only Sex Education

    August 12, 2015
  • Sex & Singleness

    On Culture, Sex, Influence, and Why Personal Responsibility Matters

    Before we start the Porn in Church series, I wanted to take a minute and talk about the importance of personal responsibility. We talk a lot about “accountability” in Christian circles. It’s the idea that we answer to other people and if you’re on a journey of recovery from porn use, then you’ve for sure heard it. In fact I’ve written several posts about it. But personal responsibility is probably equally, if not more, important than the idea of accountability. Accountability, the way we use it, says “others can check in on me and I answer to them.” It’s the motive behind things like accountability software, like Covenant Eyes, or…

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    Life is More than Sex and Marriage: Thoughts from a 31-Year-Old Virgin

    December 9, 2016

    Why Am I So Tempted When I’ve Never Fooled Around?

    August 16, 2016
    Christians and Ashley Madison

    Christians, Ashley Madison, and Why We Have to Start Talking About Sex

    August 21, 2015
  • Resources

    Resource Review: Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Joy Welcher

    My last post addressed the question, “Does God Really Want Me to Save Sex for Marriage?” In it, I mentioned this book Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Joy Welcher. I read this book through in January and, now that I’ve finished it, felt it was worth writing a quick review. I do this on occasion and hope to increase the frequency this year. On that note, I recently redid the resource page! Check it out for a more streamlined collection of books, videos, courses, and groups specifically for women who struggle with pornography. I’m also going to link up all of the book reviews I’ve done over the…

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    How Do I Protect My Child from Pornography? Resources for Parents

    October 15, 2021

    Resource Review: The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire

    April 7, 2021

    Resource Review: We Too by Mary DeMuth

    July 14, 2021
  • Women & Pornography

    Pornography on Lockdown: Facing Your Internal Triggers

    In the last post, I talked about finding your triggers. This is something I personally feel is really important to a continued walk in freedom from things like pornography, lust, and even masturbation. I started my freedom journey 16 years ago (yes, I feel old) and I still have to pay attention to my triggers. In this post, I want to tackle what do you once you find your triggers. Originally, I planned to address both internal and external triggers here, but it was turning into a mini book. So, this post is going to be about internal triggers and the next one will be about external. The next one…

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    You May Also Like

    If You’ve Been Molested by a Leader You Trusted, Here’s a Message for You

    December 21, 2018

    Tips for Fighting Temptation During the Holidays

    November 25, 2021

    Questions Girls Ask: Why Do I Struggle with Porn?

    April 12, 2019
  • Women & Pornography

    How Porn Has Affected My Marriage: One Year In

    When I wrote my book, Beggar’s Daughter, the main goal was to give practical insight into my journey as a female porn addict. No one was talking about it, especially people in the church. Pastors and counselors didn’t know how to address it and women who struggled had very limited resources. In sharing my story, I wanted to offer a glimpse into the pain of brokenness and the healing hope found in grace. Occasionally, I like to give updates on my journey in order to continue that story and to help those with questions like, “How will porn affect my marriage?” I searched for posts like this when I was…

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    You May Also Like

    Porn in Church: Creating a Safe Space for Grace

    May 1, 2021

    Sharing Your Story with Family: Thoughts on Shame, Grace, and Loss

    July 17, 2020

    Boundaries, Discernment, and Why You Might Reconsider Redeeming Love

    January 20, 2022
  • Sex & Singleness

    No, You Are Not Damaged Goods

    “Only a low quality man would marry such damaged goods.” I made a mistake the other day. I logged on to Twitter. I’ve been staying off it because it really messes with my emotions- even more than lacking sleep or food. Honestly, nothing compares to the low I get from being on Twitter. It’s the most depressing place on the internet for me, and my experience the other day reminded me of why. To be clear, the statement above was in reference to Rachael Denhollander and her husband, Jacob. Oddly enough, it’s in response to Jacob promoting Rachael’s upcoming book “What is a girl worth?” (Apparently, Twitter dude’s response would…

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    You May Also Like

    The Flirtation Experiment and Why Intimacy Matters

    February 11, 2022

    Guest Post: 7 Thoughts from a Married Woman Healing from the “Purity Culture”

    September 18, 2017

    When “Everybody Else” is Getting Married

    July 22, 2016
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