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Beggar's Daughter

Communicating the Truth of God's Grace to a Generation of Women Trapped in Sexual Sin

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  • Featured,  Women & Pornography

    The Journey of Quenched: Discovering God’s Abundant Grace for Women Struggling with Pornography and Sexual Shame

    This coming week is a big week. It is the week Quenched launches into the world. If you’re curious what the journey from idea to bookshelf can look like, here you go. You may not know this, but the journey of Quenched started back in 2013. I share a bit of this story in the introduction of the book, but it’s a question I’ve been asked in several podcasts and interviews, “Why did you write this book?” That summer, I was staying at my grandparents’ house. I had just finished working as a teacher so I had the summer off to enjoy and made a trip to see them. Beggar’s…

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    You May Also Like

    Five Tips for Staying Connected in the Bedroom

    February 11, 2023

    How to Porn-Proof Your Marriage (A Guide for Wives)

    February 25, 2023

    I’m a Christian Woman Who Struggled with Porn. This is the Hardest Part About Sharing My Story.

    May 13, 2022
  • Featured,  Sex & Singleness

    The Pornification of Evangelical Christian Women

    Over the years, as I’ve recovered and perhaps deconstructed my own experience in the purity culture, I’ve noticed a sad trend. It’s one I’ve written about many times, but it’s the reality that, so often, in many churches, our approach to sex and marriage looks almost identical to pornography. A friend of mine, Luke Gilkerson, recently wrote a review of a new book, It’s Good to Be a Man. I won’t link the book, but his review is here. I got partway through his review before I wanted to buy the book just so I could throw it at a wall. He summarizes the book as pointing out three “uniquely…

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    You May Also Like

    The Journey of Quenched: Discovering God’s Abundant Grace for Women Struggling with Pornography and Sexual Shame

    January 28, 2023

    What Does Freedom From Pornography Look Like?

    July 24, 2021

    Five Tips for Staying Connected in the Bedroom

    February 11, 2023
  • Women & Pornography

    How Pornography Affected My Body Image (or, How Porn is Like Glitter)

    Over the years, many women have asked me how pornography affected my body image. For the longest time, I told them it didn’t. I was exposed to pornography at the age of 13, a freshman in high school. Can we all just agree that 13 is already awkward, clumsy, and painful no matter who you are or what you’ve been exposed to? My days were spent admiring the cheerleaders and wondering how they managed their perfect makeup and pin-straight hair. (True story: I didn’t even know hair straighteners existed until I graduated high school and then I had a friend come over and spend over an hour straightening my thick,…

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    You May Also Like

    Christian Women Watch Porn? Consider This Your Wake Up Call

    August 31, 2020

    Sharing Your Story with Family: Thoughts on Shame, Grace, and Loss

    July 17, 2020

    Porn in Church: What Every Pastor Needs to Know About Women and Porn

    April 17, 2021
  • Women & Pornography

    What do I Need to Do to Stop Watching Porn?

    If you want to break free from a struggle with pornography, you may be wondering: What do I need to do to stop watching porn? What do I need to give up? Is there some sort of trick? Different “experts” may have different strategies. When I was first beginning my journey of freedom, the “course” I was using called for “radical amputation” of any sort of electronic device. No TV. No smartphone. This, the author believed, was the equivalent of “gouging out your right eye” which is what Jesus says in Matthew 5:29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it…

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    You May Also Like

    3 Things Parents Can do to Help Keep Your Kids from Sexting

    November 15, 2016

    I’m a Christian Woman Who Struggled with Porn. This is the Hardest Part About Sharing My Story.

    May 13, 2022

    Three Mindsets that Keep You From Freedom

    November 20, 2020
  • Women & Pornography

    What Do You Do When Confession Has Consequences?

    When it comes to breaking free from pornography and other sexual sins, I talk a lot about confession. In fact, if you email me (or have emailed me) asking what you should do to help start your freedom journey, my answer will always be “you need to tell someone.” There’s a reason for that, but there’s also a lot of fear around “confessing.” What if I confess and they get mad? What if I confess and they don’t care? What if I confess and I am punished? I think it’s unfortunate that we as Christians so often use confession similar to how it is used in a crime documentary. We…

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    You May Also Like

    In Her Words: Chione’s Story

    October 12, 2018

    Porn Addiction, Sexual Trauma, and Why I’m in Counseling

    July 28, 2018

    Sharing Your Story with Family: Thoughts on Shame, Grace, and Loss

    July 17, 2020
  • Women & Pornography

    Boundaries, Discernment, and Why You Might Reconsider Redeeming Love

    It’s as clear in my mind as if it happened yesterday. I was a first-year student at Bible college and had just confessed to a years-long struggle with hardcore pornography. My three roommates didn’t know. They just knew I had stuff I was working through. During free time one day, one of my roommates looked up from the book she was reading. “Guys! Listen to this!” She began to quote several sentences from a “sex scene” in the book. It was veiled, and definitely not anything like the sex scenes I used to read at school on the library computers. Still, I recognized one when I heard one. She read…

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    You May Also Like

    How to Porn-Proof Your Marriage (A Guide for Wives)

    February 25, 2023

    When Should I Tell My Boyfriend About My Porn Problem?

    October 1, 2015

    Porn and Marriage: How Do I Support My Wife Who’s Using Porn?

    March 20, 2021
  • Featured,  Women & Pornography

    What Does Freedom From Pornography Look Like?

    So many Christian women write in saying they want freedom from pornography. Here’s my question for them (for you): what does that look like? On a road trip recently, I stopped by my mother’s house. Every time, without fail, she hands me something of mine that she found while going through boxes in her basement. This time, she handed me a bag and as I went through it, I found a tiny notepad. I caught a glimpse of the first page: “Dear God, Tonight I’m fighting, struggling…” I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. What had I written? Had she read it all? What does she know? Yes, I share…

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    You May Also Like

    The Pornification of Evangelical Christian Women

    January 13, 2023

    The Journey of Quenched: Discovering God’s Abundant Grace for Women Struggling with Pornography and Sexual Shame

    January 28, 2023

    I’m a Christian Woman Who Struggled with Porn. This is the Hardest Part About Sharing My Story.

    May 13, 2022
  • Sex & Singleness

    Porn in Church: Pastors, How You Preach About Sex Matters.

    Pastor, let me ask you a question. How do you talk about sex in church? Better yet, do you talk about sex in church? The longer I am at this, the more I am convinced that how we, as Christians, talk about sex matters. We idolize virginity. For decades, the church at large has adopted a mindset solely focused on purity. When I was a teenager, purity pledges and purity rings were all the rage. But purity was really just a Christian way to say “abstinence.” Our message about sex was “don’t you dare do it before you’re married. If you do, you are forever marked. Your spouse will be…

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    You May Also Like

    When “Everybody Else” is Getting Married

    July 22, 2016
    Abstinence Sex Ed

    Why I Don’t Support Abstinence-Only Sex Education

    August 12, 2015

    Why love when you can just have sex? Why love is really worth the work

    April 18, 2017
  • Women & Pornography

    Porn in Church: Creating a Safe Space for Grace

    In this series, where we’re tackling how to address porn in church, I would be remiss if I didn’t address this fundamental reality: our churches need to be safe spaces for grace. In the coming weeks, we’ll talk about how to change the conversation and help women find healing, but the fact is that if the culture of your church chokes out grace, you can talk until you’re blue in the face and it isn’t going to matter. There’s a parable in the Bible (Matthew 13:1–23, Mark 4:1–20, Luke 8:4–15) that is commonly referred to as the parable of the sower. The short version is this: a sower went out…

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    You May Also Like

    What Do I Do When I Can’t Find Anyone to Tell?

    January 12, 2019

    Questions Girls Ask: Why Do I Struggle with Porn?

    April 12, 2019

    How Pornography Affected My Body Image (or, How Porn is Like Glitter)

    December 23, 2022
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