-
Let’s Talk About Christian Romance Novels
Tis the season for snow-kissed romance. Now is the time when all the single ladies (and plenty of us married ladies) are snuggling up under a big fuzzy blanket in warm socks with a cup of hot chocolate watching romantic movie after romantic movie. Actually, it’s never been my thing, personally. The hot chocolate, fuzzy blanket and warm socks, absolutely! I’m not necessarily into the romance movies, but I know it is a thing for a lot of women. And that’s ok. Sort of. Let’s talk about it. “Can you please address what is wrong with Christian romance novels?” To be honest, I haven’t really addressed this much throughout the…
-
Undeserved Grace: Our Love Story
I know, I know. This time of year, everyone is sharing their love story, and all the single ladies are probably sick of hearing them. I get it. But, I’ve been married just under six months and still haven’t shared my story, so what better time than now? If you’re a single woman who just doesn’t want to hear another story right now, feel free to go read this instead, but I hope you’ll stick around. Because this story isn’t about butterflies and happily ever after. It involves the real, hard work of healing and heaps and heaps of grace. So many women who struggle with pornography believe they are…
-
How to Be Grateful in the Midst of Your Struggle
It’s that time of year, filled with thankful trees, Advent candles, Christmas wishes and New Years Resolutions. I decided to launch this week’s blog post a little early so it would be gracing your inbox just in time for Thanksgiving. I debated somehow including a recipe for a killer apple cheesecake pie, but didn’t want to completely destroy my brand. (Seriously though, it’s delicious). If you’re anything like me, you might have woken up this morning and wondered how on earth are you supposed to do this. How can you be grateful and feel joyful when you’re stuck in the middle of a struggle? When you feel mired in negative…
-
How I Prepared for Sex in Marriage (as a Former Porn Addict)
Where is the premarital prep book for women who’ve been addicted to porn? Turns out, there isn’t one. At least not the kind I thought I needed. In case you missed it, I recently got married. We both waited into our 30s (I was 32 and he was 34). Totally worth it. Read: Life is more than sex and marriage… But how do you prepare for sexual intimacy in marriage when you have a background that leaves you easily triggered? You might think it would be easy. After all, one of the selling points for pornography is that it “helps” couples sex lives. I’ve mentioned this before and can say…
-
Don’t Carry Shame With You: Hope for Future Relationships
Shame. For years, it’s been part of this conversation surrounding porn use. Shame is perhaps the greatest influencer of and weapon within the realm of sexuality. We shame men who struggle with porn. We shamefully say women don’t. We shame sexual assault victims. We shame the sexually confused. We shame the kids who ask too many questions. Let me say this yet again, But what do you do when it feels like shame is a part of you? Part of your identity. Woven throughout your story like some coffee stain from that one time you tried to read in the coffee shop. It soaks every page, crinkles it, stains it,…
-
A Message for the Tattooed Non-Virgin: You Belong
I was unbelievably close to entitling this post “God Doesn’t Actually Care About Your Virginity” but figured that wouldn’t go over well with those who don’t read past the title. Maybe you’ve seen the post that recently went viral in Christian circles. A post about how men prefer women who are virgins, debt-free, and who don’t have tattoos. Needless to say, it lit up the corner of the blogosphere that deals with female sexuality among Christians. We might not be a big corner, but we do exist and we don’t take kindly to the sound of wolves slinking (do wolves slink?) into our camp. No, I’m not calling her a…
-
Three Cultures That Influence Female Sexuality
I was speaking at a college event recently with an anonymous Q & A at the end. One of the questions that came to the panel was this: What should men know about women’s sexuality? First, I feel that is one of the most insightful questions I have ever been asked. Ever. It’s phenomenal and very indicative of a strength of Generation Z (today’s high schoolers and college students). They want to understand and solve problems and support each other. Second, where to begin? There’s a lot that can be said. Sexuality is complicated. It’s more than sex drive, and more than sensuality. My sexuality isn’t synonymous with orientation or…
-
Introducing Love Done Right: Reflections
Breaking right before the end of the purity series to talk about the new book! Years ago, I wrote my first book, Love Done Right: Devos. Last year, I decided that book needed a do-over. That newly remodeled book will hit the mail (probably not the shelves) in just over ten days. Some of you have asked for more information- what is it? What is it about? Love Done Right: Reflections is a devotional book designed specifically for high school and college age women. Grant you, the truths in it are for anyone, so anyone is welcome to read it, but when an author writes, they have to pick an…
-
Question Girls Ask: What Characteristics Should I Look For in a Future Husband?
Recently, I was speaking in New Zealand and had the opportunity to do a city-wide all women’s Q & A specifically addressing the issues of fantasy, pornography, abstinence and singleness. It was amazing, and I would be thrilled to do more of these. The category that seemed to be hit heavily was singleness and how you deal with being single into your 30s, while abstinent, somehow navigating a wasteland between a world that says, “Forget marriage, and just have sex” and a church that says, “Wait? What!? Why aren’t you married yet?” I have written about this before. One of my favorite questions was this: What characteristics should I look…
