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Yes, Christians Need to Start Telling Their Daughters About Sex
Over the years, perhaps courtesy of the “purity” movement, sex has become a little bit like fight club. What’s the number one rule about fight club? We don’t talk about fight club. What’s the number one rule about abstinence? We don’t talk about sex. At least that’s how it seems. Especially among the girls. When I was a teenager, attending church and addicted to pornography, it seemed like the only ones who weren’t talking about sex were Christians. In fact, it seemed forbidden. In church, there was cryptic code for anything sexual (which usually just got addressed as “lust”), and there were no questions. You could ask questions during premarital…
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Stop Telling Me God is My Father
Father’s Day… as the years have gone by, this day has gotten easier, but there was a time in my life when this day brought nothing but pain. All of the Christian platitudes in the world did nothing but make it worse. I was young when my father left our family. This daddy’s girl’s world came crashing down in a pain I still struggle to put into words. It’s a rejection so deep, a loss so profound, it took me years- decades even- to grieve its impact on my life. As news rippled through our Christian community, efforts were made to save my parents’ marriage, but after the divorce, all…
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Your Daughters Deserve Better
Trigger Warning: I have noticed a disturbing trend in the search terms that lead people to my site. Creeping ever so slowly up the list are searches having to do with “daughter sex” or “daughter porn.” And it makes my blood boil. My top search term in Arabic is “daughter porn.” It stands it stark contrast to one of the other trending searches, “What to do when a man asks me for pictures.” Right there, predator and prey, both stumbling on my site. I was hoping that it was only because of my blog name, but then a friend published this blog post sharing that daddy daughter porn searches are one…
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3 Things Parents Can do to Help Keep Your Kids from Sexting
Did you know, sexting is the 6th largest major health concern among children. According to the C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health, it ranks right below child abuse and of more concern that teen pregnancy and school violence. Could explain why my recent post about sexting went viral. That’s a problem. Sexting is a problem. We’re not talking about it. That is also a problem. If you’re a parent, I don’t envy your calling right now. You’r trying to figure out how to raise children in a world where babies learn to play with technology before they even know how to read. A world where, from day 1, kids…
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(Why You Need to) Talk to Your Kids About Sex
This post is filled with affiliate links, meaning when you visit the sites and make purchases, I receive a commission at no extra charge to you. It is a way for me to keep this site running, and I will never promote a product I do not support. Thank you for your support! I’ve said it for a while, “Whoever tells your kids about sex first is who they will listen to.” Of course, I know that’s very daunting, especially for Christian parents. For whatever reason, Christian parents in general have a really (and I mean really) hard time talking to their kids about sex. There’s this desire to hold…
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Kissing Is Not Sex: Part 1
To kiss or not to kiss: that seems to be a question I get a lot. My first kiss was some time during elementary school. While our class was on our way out to recess, two snot-nosed boys were arguing over which of them was my ‘boyfriend.’ Mind you, I was completely oblivious to the apparent importance of this conversation. We were about ten feet outside the school doors when one of them turned around, grabbed both sides of my face and planted one right on my lips. I stood there stunned, while Ashley, my arch nemesis (yes, you can have those in third grade), ran to tell the teacher…
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Accountability vs. confession
As we start up this series on Accountability, it is important that we have a clear understanding of what, exactly, we are talking about. As I said in the last post, a basic definition of accountability is this: Refusing to fight for freedom all on my own and inviting someone specific to join me in the fight. Some of you are reading that and thinking, “Not helpful!” You want specifics. You want to know what it looks like, and how it works in real life. It is like reading an instruction manual and thinking, “sounds easy enough!” Then, you open the box with all the pieces and parts and bolts…
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Girls Like Porn: What are We Thinking?
Blogging has introduced me to so many different perspectives that exist in our sex-crazed world. Christian men inform me that this is usually a man’s topic (thank you; aware). Non-Christian men treat me like I’m supposed to be a woman in one of their porn videos. Non-Christian women cheer me on for being some pro-feminist champion and Christian women look at me like I’ve grown a third eye. As time has gone by it’s gotten better, but there’s one reaction that makes my blood boil– the elitist Christian mom whose daughters ‘would never.’ I was ‘eavesdropping’ on a forum conversation about Beggar’s Daughter when one such mom, with two young…
