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Breaking Free From Porn: Where the Battle is Won

Our battles are first won or lost in the secret places of our will in God’s presence, never in full view of the world.

~ Oswald Chambers, “My Utmost For His Highest” (Dec 27 devotion)

 

Too often, I think, we try to break free from porn for the wrong reasons.  We try to escape because we are ashamed.  We don’t like how it makes us feel.  We don’t like how it messes with our lives.  We don’t like how it consumes our thoughts and makes short work of our heart.  We want out because we don’t like it.  God’s opinion of what we are doing is far from our minds.

All the wrong reasons

Yes, it is possible to want to break free for the wrong reasons.  Usually, it doesn’t work, but we try and we get frustrated.  Then determine that we must just be stuck.  We’re not stuck; we’re selfish, and a little stupid (I say that in love).

We ignore God because we don’t want to face Him with this mess we’ve made of ourselves.  We’re disappointed with ourselves.  We should have known better.  We got ourselves into this mess; we can get ourselves out.  No thank you, God, no need for Your conviction.  We don’t look at pornography as a sin, we just see it as a bad idea.

I tried to break free from pornography long before I actually found freedom.  I was mad that it had gained control of my life.  I was angry that I was losing sleep and struggling in school because my hours were consumed by pornography and lust.  I didn’t have a problem with pornography, until it started messing with my master plan.  Then, I got angry.  It needed to go.

So, I launched an attack against pornography.  I hated it.  I didn’t want it.  I was the boss of me.  I was in control.  It couldn’t do this to me.  Somehow it became God’s fault, so I got angry at Him too.  He should be doing something about this.

He should be helping me break free.  He should be shutting off my internet; He should be disabling websites.  He should be fixing this.  He couldn’t expect me to do this all by myself, but the truth is, I didn’t want to do it with Him.

The proper perspective

Pornography is not a ‘bad idea.’  It’s not wrong because it will mess with your worth or because it will rewire your brain.  Pornography is wrong because it goes against the holy, loving nature of God.  Pornography, at its best, is sin- an offense against the cross of Christ.  That is what makes it wrong, and freedom is know only when it is found at that level.

We sin because we are selfish and don’t rely on God.  We keep getting stuck because we are selfish and don’t rely on God.

Freedom is found at the cross.  That is where the battle was won, and that is where our freedom starts.  But we can’t get there without acknowledging our own sinfulness and helplessness.  We are, indeed, helpless to break free of these chains.

Trying to break free on our own is like trying to put out a fire when we, ourselves, are on fire.  The one just fuels the other.  When the fuel is burned out, it goes on to consume something new.  Some people stop pornography only to get wrapped up in other addictions- they are still on fire.

Christ longs to put out that fire within us.  He wants to extinguish it, and rebuild the damaged places.  He wants to restore us to the abundant life He promised us.  If we refuse and instead try to stop, drop and roll, we will find ourselves still wasting away, trying in vain to find freedom.  We will become exhausted, frustrated, and lacking.

The right reason

The right reason to fight, to strive for freedom, centers around Christ.  We have to want freedom not because we are embarrassed, or because we are terrified about the consequences.  We have to want freedom because we know that what we are doing breaks the heart of Christ.

Our reason cannot be a fear of lost position.  It cannot be a feeling of hypocrisy.  It cannot even be remorse or dread.

It has nothing to do with our plans, our feelings, or the opinions of others. It has everything to do with how much He loves us.  Our battle is won, first and foremost, when we sacrifice our love of self for the Lover of our Soul.  We cannot love both.

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3 comments

  1. Definitely on point, Jessica. Freedom is in Christ alone. And hopefully it leads to honoring the marriage bed. Let the marriage bed be honored above all. Hebrews 13:4

  2. Great post, and soo true! We try to break free because we just feel dirty, and ugly, but not for the right reason, and we always try to rely on our own strength, when it is completely impossible! It’s *all* about Christ, not about us. We must strive to give glory to Him alone! 🙂

  3. I always struggle because it’s so true. I definitely should put God first. I don’t want to break His heart again. Please pray for me. Thank you girls. I hope you’re with me in this walk with Christ because it’s not a battle anymore. As it is said the battle is our Lords’. And therefore it was won by our God already. Really, you helped me here 🙂