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Steps to a Healing Heart: Letting go


To catch up on the beginning of this series:

Walking the PathThe Unstable Victor: Healing Heart, Step 1, Step 2
As we walk on this journey of healing, we reach the stage of the ‘unstable victor.’  Our lives are marked by ebbs and flows of emotion.  Sometimes the ride is so rocky, even we cannot figure out which way is up.  It is a hard stage, filled with death, and growth, of darkness and blinding light, of bitterness and love.  As issues come to the surface, we are faced over and over again with the same choice:

hold on to it or let God have it.

The phases of this stage are many.  As we pursue the healing of our hearts—deep-seated issues will come to the surface.  We will battle bitterness, anger, hatred, guilt but probably, fear, and blame.

So step three of this part of the journey is:

Let it go.

It is probably the final step of this portion, only because it is a step we must repeat over and over again in different circumstances.  It is the groundwork step for healing the mind as well.

“Let it go” plays out in so many different ways, all of which aid us in our walk toward freedom.

Relieves stress.  For many of us, stress is a huge trigger for falling.  Let’s be honest (as we have been many times before), orgasms are a natural stress reliever.  Sex is a natural stress reliever.  Romance is a stress-distraction.  So many of us could connect the times we failed to a time of stress.  What would life look like if we learned to let it go?  In this case, we turn to the words in 1 Peter 5:7 when it says “Casting all your care upon Him for He cares for you.”  And again when Christ says,

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]

Matthew 11:28 (AMP)

Our hearts have been conditioned to run to lust for relief.  It’s quick; it’s convenient; it can even be fun, but it doesn’t fix anything.

Lust is incapable of fixing our problems; all it does is help us ignore them.

God, on the other hand, is very capable of fixing our problems.  For some reason, though, our hearts fear Him.  We have to let that go and learn to trust Him and His promises.  He tells us to come to Him.  He promises to give us rest.  He promises that when temptation comes we will have a way to escape it—not that we have to find a way, or create a way—that He will provide a way.

 Uproots bitterness.  In some circumstances, we may blame our addiction or the cause for our addiction on someone else.  A girl who has been molested by a family member may harbor resentment for that person.  A daughter whose father left her may blame her struggle on her dad.  Part of letting go is exercising forgiveness even when the party being forgiven has not asked for it.  This has often been called having a ‘forgiving heart.’  In many cases, we are never able to look the person in the eyes and say, “I forgive you.”  In quite a few cases, no one ever asks for forgiveness, but that doesn’t not mean that we cannot forgive.

If we harbor resentment, bitterness and blame for someone else, it serves as a shelter for our sin.  We will feel justified in our struggle, like it is our right to be where we are.  We will believe that we can never find freedom until that person apologizes for what was done.  What we do not realize is we are holding our hearts captive.  We are stunting our own growth by refusing to grow any further until someone else grows too.

In a way, we can be like little children who, when reprimanded by a parent, say, “Well, what about her?  She was wrong too!”  God is not concerned about the ‘her.’  The ‘her’ has nothing to do with you and the work He wants to do in your life.  Let ‘her’ or ‘him’ go.  Let God take care of working in their hearts and lives.

Your heart will not have room to grow and love if it is cluttered with an arsenal of bitterness and resentment.

 Letting go opens countless other doors for healing.  It murders our pride, creates empathy, re-establishes trust, reconstructs love.  It paves the way for our next step in the journey of freedom—a healing mind.  Make no mistake, you will come back to this place time and time again.  As new wounds present themselves, you will be forced to make the choice to surrender them to God.  At first that is a difficult and painful choice to make, partly because we have a fear of God, but, as time goes on, He will recreate our hearts, purify them and heal them.  We will get to the point that when life gets tough, instead of running to the open jaws of lust, we will run to the open arms of the Saviour.

There, as we learn to let go, our hearts will find healing, strength, and rest.


One comment

  1. Wow. That thing about relieving stress is so relevant.
    For me it’s like I use lust to make me feel better when I’m down, and it works, temporarily, but pretty soon I’m ashamed of what I’ve done, and I feel worse!
    How true that lust only helps us ignore our problems, rather than make them better.