Purity & Freedom

Is This Unfair?


To read the other days in the series, click here.

Heads up.  If you are truly trying to walk in freedom, I want to alert you to one of the (many) lies that will be thrown your way:

All These Steps Just Are Not Fair.

That might be a thought that pops in your mind as you are implementing roadblocks and trying to stay focused.  You may look at all the people living ‘perfect’ lives around you and think, “They don’t have to do this.  God, this isn’t fair!”

We want freedom; we just want to look normal.

After I confessed to my own addiction in college, I had to have a rather awkward conversation with my three roommates.  As typical college girls do, we would talk about sex (yes, that’s right, women talk about sex).

We were never graphic.  In fact, I would say the conversation was Godly and filled with anticipation, just like conversations about graduation or wedding dresses.  It’s just a natural part of life and I appreciated that they were approaching it in such a real and genuine way.

Which is why I felt even more horrible when I asked them to stop.

“Guys, I need to ask you a favor… when I’m around, can you just not talk about sex?  Thanks.”

I doubt they remember the conversation at all, but I was so nervous.  I felt like some freak.

You might feel that way.  You might get angry that you even need boundaries right now.  It might frustrate you and embarrass you to move your computer or to skip out on girl’s night.  You may ask yourself, “Am I ever going to feel normal again!?”

It is so important that you do not look at these steps as punishment.

This is not some way of putting you in your room so you can think things over.  This is not some cosmic “time out.”  These steps are meant to help not condemn.  Yes, they may seem drastic, they may even seem unfair, but you have to ask yourself, “Is it worth it?”

Is it worth it to go for three months without movie night if it means you can be done with this?  Is it worth it to step away from the dating scene for a while so you can finally get a hold of your thought life?

Don’t ask yourself if this is fair.  Ask yourself: Is it worth it?



  • Keep going with the Romans 6:11-13.  This is the motivation for why you are doing this!  Hopefully, you are close to having it memorized.  Remember, to say a quick prayer asking for strength, guidance, and patience.
  • Implement roadblock #2.  Make this the second most drastic (#1 was the most drastic).  This is a second line of defense.

For example:  If I struggle with things online, I might move my computer to the living room.  What if that roadblock ‘fails.’  What would be a second roadblock to put in the way?  Perhaps enabling parental controls or having my mom/dad/husband/roommate set the password.  I might disable in-private browsing or the ability to clear my history.  I need to do something that will help put the brakes on if I make it past the first road block.