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Does Boredom Lead You to Porn?

Over the years, I have noticed some similarities in the stories women send me.  While we may not all be drawn to pornography for the same reasons, we all tend to go back to it under similar emotions.

Men have this cute little mnemonic “HALT” to help them identify their times of weakness.  “HALT” stands for “Hungry.  Angry.  Lonely.  Tired.”  These are apparently times when men are more vulnerable to lust.  No, I will confess, I don’t know what hunger has to do with it, but I’m also not a guy.  Needless to say, I don’t find this mnemonic exceedingly helpful when it comes to women.

In fact, looking back through the e-mails I received, if I had to list off the top 4 ‘areas of weakness for women, I would say they are:

Bored.  Discouraged.  Lonely.  Stressed.

As you can see, there isn’t really a cute word to come up with for those.  The one that really catches my attention is ‘bored.’

Bored to Death Lust

I think the boredom factor is more common with women struggling with masturbation.  Well, wait… all of those are common with women who struggle with masturbation.

Boredom as a weakness is interesting, because, to me, it actually does not signal an addiction.  In my experience, this can be a phase of the process, and can soon lead to an addiction, but is not indicative of an addiction itself.  Some might disagree, and that’s fine.  However, if I am turning to lust and pornography when I am bored, that indicates more of a bad habit than an actual addiction.  It means that if I somehow found a way to tie up my time, then I wouldn’t fall.

For many, pornography, masturbation, and lust is just about as important as the air they breathe.  They can’t go a day without release, a moment without thinking about sex, and can’t sustain relationships.  They must have this at the expense of everything else, risking their own reputations to get their fix.  That is an addiction.

If it’s just something you do when you have nothing else to do, that’s not an addiction, but it can lead to an addiction.  That habit can become a need rather quickly and silently, so if you’re one of those women that just goes back because she has nothing better to do, here’s my advice to you:

Find something better to do.

This isn’t as harmless as picking your nose or chewing your nails.  This is like juggling flaming knives in your spare time.  It’s dangerous, and it will burn you.

If you find yourself turning to fantasy, find a hobby that will refocus your creativity.  Writing, painting, knitting… whatever.  Find something that exercises that part of your mind.

If you find yourself turning to masturbation, find a hobby that releases the same feel-goodness.  Start running.  Go hiking.  Play volleyball.  Do something that exerts energy.

If you find yourself turning to pornography, find a hobby that has nothing to do with computers.  Here’s what we do.  We get bored, so we log on to Facebook.  We start cruising around Facebook and find a link to YouTube.  We go to YouTube to watch whatever crazy cat video that was, and three clicks later, we’re watching porn.  If that’s you, get away from the computer.  Go to a coffee shop, the local library, the gym.  Go for a drive, or a walk.  Scrapbook.  Do something that keeps you off technology until your brain is alert again.

Some of you may be struggling with this on your way out of an addiction.  You have broken those initial chains that say you must have this or die.  However, when your brain goes into ‘sleep mode’ you find yourself wandering back in.  It’s an addictive habit.  So, you might be free from the addiction but still a slave to the habit.

If boredom is what leads you to fall, take that as an encouraging sign.  It means that lust is becoming somewhat of a last resort– an after-thought.   It is just as important for you, if not more so, to guard your weakness.  Remember, build your boundaries wide and build them high.  Make sin as inconvenient as possible, and please find a new hobby.

4 comments

  1. Thanks about the last three posts,almost scary how clear they describe my situation and thoughts.God is working:-)

  2. Amazing. This is so good and helpful.

    I’m a man, and I’ll tell you: HALT barely applies to me. I find your triggers to be more accurate.

    Thank you so much for sharing the wisdom that God has given you. I encourage you, Please write about the other triggers, viz. discouraged, lonely and stressed. I would really appreciate it.

    God bless you!

  3. I would like to say thank you for this article. I have struggled with masturbation and porn before I can even remember. There have been years that I wont even think about it and then out of the blue it hits me.

    I was just thinking to myself..the only time I ever do this is when I’m bored and there isn’t anything to do. RIght now I’m bored, stressed and lonely.

    It gives me encouragement to know that this doesn’t have to turn into something bigger and I just need to keep occupied. I need to trust in the Lord that he will help me throug hthis.

    Thank you for the article it came at the perfect time.

  4. it is my hope that from this moment on i will be free from masturbation. i pray that all those who come across this will be able to take the stand against satan, who is ready to devour us, and instead stand in the light of Christ. He is the one who does not tempt us more than we can handle. may we live out these words. pray for me and for all women who struggle with this. may we be armed with the armor of God.