Women & Pornography
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What Do You Do When Confession Has Consequences?
When it comes to breaking free from pornography and other sexual sins, I talk a lot about confession. In fact, if you email me (or have emailed me) asking what you should do to help start your freedom journey, my answer will always be “you need to tell someone.” There’s a reason for that, but there’s also a lot of fear around “confessing.” What if I confess and they get mad? What if I confess and they don’t care? What if I confess and I am punished? I think it’s unfortunate that we as Christians so often use confession similar to how it is used in a crime documentary. We…
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Boundaries, Discernment, and Why You Might Reconsider Redeeming Love
It’s as clear in my mind as if it happened yesterday. I was a first-year student at Bible college and had just confessed to a years-long struggle with hardcore pornography. My three roommates didn’t know. They just knew I had stuff I was working through. During free time one day, one of my roommates looked up from the book she was reading. “Guys! Listen to this!” She began to quote several sentences from a “sex scene” in the book. It was veiled, and definitely not anything like the sex scenes I used to read at school on the library computers. Still, I recognized one when I heard one. She read…
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Take “Break Free From Porn” Off Your To Do List
How many times have you told yourself this time will be the last time? Have you ever tried to quit watching pornography? Stop masturbating? Stop lusting? Then you have probably discovered it isn’t exactly easy. It seems like it should be, right? Isn’t this what God wants us to do? Doesn’t He want us to stop? You would think, then, that we would just be able to wake up one day and that’s it. It’s over. We’re done and never look back. Easy peasy. Isn’t that what so many pastors seem to preach? Just stop. You want to stop. You try to stop. So why can’t you stop? It might…
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Tips for Fighting Temptation During the Holidays
Is this time of year hard for you when it comes to your struggle? You would think all of the focus on gratitude and Jesus coming to earth would make it less likely for us to struggle. But that’s just not how it works. It’s important to remember that your struggle does not start when you pick up your phone or log on to your computer. It starts before that, and it can seem so much worse this time of year. Why? Well, if you’re in school, you are finishing up exams (hello, stress) followed by free time. If you are away from home, you’re coming back to family (and…
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Porn and Parenting: How to talk to Your Child about Porn
As part of the Porn and Parenting Series, I reached out to my friend, Chris, at Protect Young Eyes. PYE shows “families, schools, and churches how to create safer digital spaces. Through a pretty great website, super fly presentations, and a unique learning app for parents who have ZERO free time.” Chris’s approach to porn as a parent is refreshing and unique. He believes that your kids don’t need controlled, they need coached, and it’s an approach that I believe is hugely effective. This content originally appeared at Protect Young Eyes and has been republished by Beggar’s Daughter with permission. Parents, this blog post will require around 7 minutes of your time – 7…
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#Soonerissafer: The Best Age to Begin Talking to Kids About Pornography
As part of this Porn and Parenting series, I wanted to reach out to some friends who are experts in teaching parents how to talk to their kids about pornography. Today’s post is from Kristen Jenson, author of Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids and Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds; producer of the Brain Defense (TM): Digital Safety curriculum; Founder of ProtectYoungMinds.org (now DEFEND Young Minds!); owner and CEO of Glen Cove Press, LLC. I’ve had to privilege of presenting alongside Kristen at several events and have seen her heart for protecting young kids from the effects of pornography. Her book…
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Porn and Parenting: How Pornography Affected My Journey as a Mom
Over the years, I’ve tried to be very honest about how my struggle with pornography has impacted different seasons of my life. It affected me while single, and then even in marriage, and now, I’ve noticed, even in motherhood. If you’re a woman who struggles or struggled with pornography, I don’t share this to freak you out or discourage you, but just to keep things real. I share with you things that would have helped me if people had shared them with me. I have to say I didn’t think that my years of struggle with pornography would affect my role as a mom. It made sense to me that…
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Three Signs You Are Exploiting People
Simone Biles made headlines during the Tokyo Olympics when she stepped away from the competition for mental health reasons. While most responses I saw were understanding, encouraging, and even empowering, there were plenty of people that seemed to take personal offense to her decision. How dare she. She was called a quitter, selfish, even a sociopath. Christian commentator, Matt Walsh, called her an embarrassment and “in some ways an appropriate representation of a country that has gone soft.” Oof. Several times as I’ve read news articles and comments on social media of people expressing their disappointment and chastising her, I’ve wanted to remind them that she doesn’t owe any of…
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What Does Freedom From Pornography Look Like?
So many Christian women write in saying they want freedom from pornography. Here’s my question for them (for you): what does that look like? On a road trip recently, I stopped by my mother’s house. Every time, without fail, she hands me something of mine that she found while going through boxes in her basement. This time, she handed me a bag and as I went through it, I found a tiny notepad. I caught a glimpse of the first page: “Dear God, Tonight I’m fighting, struggling…” I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. What had I written? Had she read it all? What does she know? Yes, I share…
