It can happen, will happen, will have happened to all of us by the time our journey is over. There comes this pivotal time in our walk of freedom when we have to take the next step with a healing heart and a broken mind. The two do not cooperate easily. As our heart heals and we are willing to embrace new relationships and visit old ones, our mind, ever the critic, screams, “Are you nuts? You can’t trust these people!”
While our heart longs to forgive, heal, and be whole, our mind can often insist that ‘logically’ that will never happen. In those moments, we have a choice.
We can choose to listen. We can shrink back into the shade, living life freed from crippling darkness but not yet fully in the light. We can also choose to ignore our mind, recognizing that our logic might, in fact, be flawed. We can take that first bold, blinding step into the light and stand. It will probably take a while for our eyes to adjust, but those moments of discomfort are well worth the wait.
Part of being in that light is being in fellowship with others. Part of your healing is simply being who your healed heart wants you to be. See, we believe the lies that say we can’t. We stand in the shade thinking, “It would be so great if I could be a great woman of God.” “It would be so great if I could be a missionary.” “It would be so great if I could be a wife.” Our hearts are natural dreamers, but then comes the mind
“but that will never happen.”
Says who? You?
Pardon me for being blunt. I don’t know about you, but I think my mind might be a little flawed. I do not know that I can trust logic from the same mind that ‘logically’ kept me in pornography for eight years. I do not know that I want to listen to that ‘still small voice’ until I am 100% sure that it is the right still small voice– not fear, greed, envy, desperation or anything else that may lead me hopelessy off track.
Your first step for a healed mind is to be a friend.
This is different than accountability, because you will not go into this friendship with your “Hi, I’m a porn addict” nametag. For this, you are going in as you, whoever she truly is. Is there some verse that says “Thou must have a friend before thou canst be healed?” Nope. But throughout Scripture we are pointed to others, told to be friendly, encouraged to fellowship.
Funny thing is, if you are a woman who has been struggling with pornography, you have been “fellowshipping.” The people just weren’t real.
So, this step is more an exercising in getting your feet planted back in the real world again. It is more about connecting to real people in real ways. Quit assuming you know what others are going to say. Quit assuming you know what other people think. This is an exercise in trust, because as you trust others, you will learn to trust God, and vice versa. So, pick a person, any person, and choose to befriend that person.
And the next time that still small voice screams, “Are you nuts?” Drown it out with a solid wave of Proverbs 3:5-6 and watch God heal.