Lust & FantasyPornographyPurity & Freedom

A Healed Mind: How Does it Look?

As we wrap up the “Healing the Mind” part of our series on Walking the Path, it’s always important to tell you what a healed mind looks like.  I can remember times when people would say something cute and Christian-ese:

Love God more than you hate the sin.

Run to grace and keep on running.

And while I accepted the advice willingly, inside, I was thinking, “What does that look like?”  I’ve had many women write me and ask me that very thing: “What does purity look like?”

What does a healed mind look like?

Ultimately, a healed mind thinks along the lines of Philippians 4:8

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

Does that mean you will always think those things?  Probably not.  Many people who never struggled with pornography struggle with this.  Don’t feel that if you think on something that isn’t lovely, you have failed to find freedom.  You will notice your priority of thought has changed though.

They say men think about sex… well, a lot.  For women trapped in a lust sin, we can tend to feel like men.  Every spare moment, it seems, our mind is consumed with sex or fantasy.  Then, as we find freedom from that, our mind is consumed with fear, guilt, and shame.  When we find true freedom- freedom from not only the sin itself but the consequences of sin- we will find our minds becoming increasingly consumed with Christ.

That does not mean we will never think about something that isn’t Christ.  Instead, we actively practice what is found in 2 Corinthians 10:5

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

When those lies creep into your heart and mind, no matter what they are- pornography, fantasy, lust, insecurity, fear, hopelessness- hogtie them and drag them to Jesus.  Not a single one of those is part of your freedom.  They are part of your captivity.

To wrap it all up, the mind takes a while to heal.  This healing involves more than just getting rid of the sin that besets us.  It also involves building up and fixing the damage caused by that sin.  This healing involves restoring a Godly perspective on sex and also a Godly perspective on love, our own worth, and freedom.  It’s more than just not doing pornography anymore.  Healing is not beating myself up for having done pornography before.  Healing is not labeling myself as a ‘porn addict in the recovery stage.’  Healing is labeling myself the way God labels me: forgiven, redeemed, cherished, loved, called, adopted, free, worthy, beautiful, the list goes on.

That is a healed mind.  To live life as a completely new creature with the old things passed away (aka, dead).

Being dead to pornography and lust, in all of its power and effects.  That is freedom.


One comment

  1. Interesting post! I’d love to say that this is no longer an issue, but honestly, 18 years into recovery it still is. I still have flashes of memory. When they happen, accompanied by the inevitable shame, I almost immediately rebuke them and send a prayer heavenward that that is NOT ME anymore.
    I love how they say it in Celebrate Recovery. “I am a Christian who struggles with___” (fill in alcoholism or people pleasing or sex addiction) as opposed to “Hi, my name is Tina and I’m a sex addict”. The problem doesn’t define you–Jesus does.