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Porn and Parenting: How to talk to Your Child about Porn
As part of the Porn and Parenting Series, I reached out to my friend, Chris, at Protect Young Eyes. PYE shows “families, schools, and churches how to create safer digital spaces. Through a pretty great website, super fly presentations, and a unique learning app for parents who have ZERO free time.” Chris’s approach to porn as a parent is refreshing and unique. He believes that your kids don’t need controlled, they need coached, and it’s an approach that I believe is hugely effective. This content originally appeared at Protect Young Eyes and has been republished by Beggar’s Daughter with permission. Parents, this blog post will require around 7 minutes of your time – 7…
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What Does Freedom From Pornography Look Like?
So many Christian women write in saying they want freedom from pornography. Here’s my question for them (for you): what does that look like? On a road trip recently, I stopped by my mother’s house. Every time, without fail, she hands me something of mine that she found while going through boxes in her basement. This time, she handed me a bag and as I went through it, I found a tiny notepad. I caught a glimpse of the first page: “Dear God, Tonight I’m fighting, struggling…” I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. What had I written? Had she read it all? What does she know? Yes, I share…
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Pastors, How You Preach About Sex Matters.
Pastor, let me ask you a question. How do you talk about sex in church? Better yet, do you talk about sex in church? The longer I am at this, the more I am convinced that how we, as Christians, talk about sex matters. We idolize virginity. For decades, the church at large has adopted a mindset solely focused on purity. When I was a teenager, purity pledges and purity rings were all the rage. But purity was really just a Christian way to say “abstinence.” Our message about sex was “don’t you dare do it before you’re married. If you do, you are forever marked. Your spouse will be…
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Setting Up Recovery Groups For Women Who Struggle with Porn
This post is part of our Porn in Church series- a series designed especially for pastors. If you are not a pastor, please share this post with your pastor. (This post is also part of my book, Quenched.) Women in your church struggle with pornography. That’s just a fact. Men in your church struggle with pornography. That’s also a fact. Still, churches today are relatively ill-equipped to help either gender effectively. When it comes to addressing pornography use and helping people find freedom and healing, too often the message is short and limited to “stop it.” “Stop it” isn’t helpful. People who are looking for help breaking free from pornography…
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The One Word Christian Women Struggling with Porn Need to Hear
What if I told you there was one word that Christian women struggling with porn needed to hear? Just one word that could help eradicate shame and set them on the journey to freedom? What if one word could completely change the atmosphere of your church? Could it really be that simple? Five years ago, I had the privilege of speaking at the Set Free Summit, hosted by Covenant Eyes and Josh McDowell Ministries. It was a gathering of hundreds of pastors and ministry leaders addressing the issue of pornography use within the church. During my session, I shared about the shame experienced by a Christian woman struggling with pornography.…
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How Do I Tell My Husband I Struggle With Porn?
Today let’s answer the question, “How do I tell my husband I struggle with porn?” As Millennials and Generation Z females (who are more likely to use pornography than older generations) get married, they are running into this issue. It’s especially a struggle for Christian women. Why? Because for years, we’ve talked about porn like it’s only a guy’s issue. It’s how guys are wired. Perhaps you saw the recent viral video of a Missouri pastor telling women that their husbands are going to look because that’s just the way God made men. It’s just how things are. Boys will be boys. All of which is extremely unhelpful and misleading.…
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Should We Treat Porn Like Cheating?
Should We Consider Porn the Same as Cheating? Here’s how the scenario seems to play out in a male struggler/female partner relationship. The woman catches the man watching pornography and the following conversation starts something like this: How can you watch that stuff? Why are you choosing those women over me? I’m right here. Am I not good enough for you? You don’t really love me. You love those fake women on that screen. What!? No! It’s not like that. Of course I love you. Of course I think you’re beautiful. Liar. If you really meant it, you would stop. And the communication continues to degrade. The trust continues to…
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Resource Review: Unwanted by Jay Stringer
Today, I’m reviewing Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer. As a friendly reminder, as is the case for all of my reviews, I buy these books personally and read them cover-to-cover before I share them with you. No paid endorsements here and no quick skims and half-hearted summaries. The only commission I make is through sharing affiliate links like the one below. If it’s not worth my time and money, it’s not worth yours. I want to say I’ve met Jay before but honestly, I don’t know. Maybe? I think we follow each other on social media… maybe? At any rate, his is a…
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On Pedestals, Grief, and Finding Faith
The final report of the investigation into Ravi Zacharias was published, and it wasn’t good. In fact, it was scathing. For many, this week, a hero fell. I’ve been following this story since the accusations first came to light last fall. Ravi’s ministry had a great impact on my husband’s faith and a friend of mine was a speaker for RZIM. Sadly, we’ve seen this all before. Too many times, actually. In Ecclesiastes, it says, “What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.” {1:9 ESV} Instances like this, where people abuse power and…