I doubt I could embarass her more than she will be embarassed. Maybe she won’t be embarassed. All I know is I about died when I opened up the cute purple invitation and realized it was for a lingerie shower. I had only ever heard of them twice. The first was nearly ten years ago, right before my cousin got married. The second was my best friend telling me she would kill me if I threw one for her.
Being invited to one was an entirely new experience for me, one I had no clue how to handle. I could just not go, but the problem is that I will be staying with the bride– in her house. It seems a little rude to say, “Oh no. I am not going to that. I know I came early to spend some time with you, but I would rather sit here, in your house, and do nothing.”
Still, it seems equally as intrusive to go to an event where her most intimate articles of clothing will be on display for her close friends to see.
This whole situation had my heart so conflicted. I had joked about this with my best friend years before. Right around the time she was threatening my life if I threw her a lingerie shower, we talked about the gifts we would get each other. I would get her the largest, most obnoxious ‘gramma’ under garments possible just relieve the awkward tension of the moment, and then a gift card so she could go get her own.
I do not have a problem with sex. I talk about sex (look at the page you are on) very frankly, even in person. I do not pry my married friends for answers, details, or anything of the sort and they are very good to not give too much information. I am close to my friends. I don’t tell them what to wear in their bedrooms and I don’t want them suggesting what I should wear in mine.
That’s too close. To me, that’s husband-only turf.
Maybe married women see it differently. Maybe it’s some bond they all get, some sisterhood that gives them license to buy each other lingerie. It’s the same phenomenon you see when a woman is pregnant. Every woman and her sister feels she has the right to rub the belly. The whole attitude just seems so imposing to me, and the whole process was… difficult. The fact that it came smack in the middle of a series on fantasy and lust just added to the irony.
So, I had to get a new focus.
This is not, I said to myself, about the lingerie(I’ll worry later about whether or not that is fantasy). This, is a celebration of her purity! A celebration of the fact that she made it! They waited, and it was hard. I know it was hard. This is a chance for me to rejoice with her. To smile, to laugh and partake, in some strange way, of that anticipation I myself talk about when I talk about purity.
So, I, being the naive (ok, maybe not too naive) single girl, came at it from a completely different angle. One that probably goes against the ‘norm’ for these things. I just love to be different, fun, and real. Hopefully, it will ease the tension in the room, make people laugh and get back to the real purpose I just invented for this whole celebration– to celebrate. There will be no “lingerie” in my bag.
I believe in the goodness of sex; I really do. God made it, and I know that’s a message that is missing in our Christian circles today. A teenage girl I know recently discovered Song of Solomon and was in complete shock that it was in the Bible.
I can’t believe this is in here! she said.
Darlin’, God wrote about it long before Playboy got their grimy hands all over it.
It was His to start with. Maybe we forget that. So, yes, it is worth celebrating because it is good. It is, however, also sacred. Maybe, sometimes, we forget that too.1